A sparrow when I'm broken, and eagle when I fly.....

Welcome to my world. I am an ordinary wife and mom who has been extraordinarily blessed by an amazing husband and house full of beautiful children. My prayer is that you will be somehow blessed by our family's story. It is a tale of God's grace and forgiveness...His loving kindness and patience with us His children as we strive & struggle everyday to bless His name with our lives

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Reflections From An Ex Country Girl

I deeply miss our little farm. I most miss the watching of the sunrise. The eastern sky would flood with orange and pink light as I filled the clothes line with laundry washed the night before. Hanging out damp cold sheets and jeans was somehow made into worship. The world that early in the morning is a most private place. It seemed to be just the Lord and I. Alone, together. I ask Him between clothes pinning the flapping sheets..."What today Lord?"..."Will I hear the answer I've been seeking?... " Him answering in beauty and the still small/large voice..... "Seek ME first" "Rest in ME".." "See Me". Then later at evening...the time after dishes washed and PJs put on washed children...time for sun to set. Yet another glorious light show! Yah! Different in it's lusciousness every day's end. "Good night Lord."... "Thank You for this good and worthy day.".. "You are beautiful"... "You are Glory".. Sigh. Yes. He meets us wherever we are. Yes, His beauty is everywhere. In country, in village, in city. I just so loved the country though. The twenty acres of flat wheat land surrounding us with quiet...and an amazing first class seat everyday to sunrise and sunset. We for good reason became "townies", and said goodbye to the life in the country. It is all good and worth the loss of the front row seats to God's light and shadow show every morning and evening. I do so miss meeting Him though; when the world is LARGE with horizon and it feels like it is just He and I. It was a clarity and truth that I discover harder to "see" in town. I know it must be me. God is still the same "I Am" everywhere. If you live in town and have no sunrise or sunset to see. If you live in city and see little or no nature. If you live in prison and see only concrete. God is still "I Am". I know His beauty is the same when it is easy to see Him surrounding you in nature. I should not grieve the country when I KNOW He is the same here in the city. One really cool thing about God is that we can talk with Him where ever whenever, no matter the circumstances. Thank you God for the precious times I had with You when I was spoiled rotten with wide open space and horizon and quiet and light shows every day. And thank you most of all that You are everywhere and in every thing.

Okay...so I miss country life. You will understand this post better understanding that I am a former country girl who is sad for the loss of livestock and the living in the day by day "circle of life".... Forgive my post devoted to waterfowl. This kinda stuff thrills me...ducks, chicks, the birds showing back up to the feeders out back..


A few years ago shortly after we moved from "country" to "city" we were visited one early spring day by pair of mallard ducks we named "Clark" and "Marty" after our most ever favorite movie series "Love Comes Softly" and it's main characters...Marti and Clark. This adorable mallard pair now shows up every year soon after Mike opens opens up the pool. I assume it is same ducks? They look the same. We just look out one spring morning and there they are! Marty and Clark frolicking in our freshly opened in ground pool.

The kids and I are always so excited to see them come back. Mike is a bit less excited as he is one to clean the pool.

They aren't too scared of us. At least they don't fly away when I rush outside to take their picture and put some ducky food of bread crumbs or grain in pie plate near the pool. Our dog doesn't even bark at them. He must remember Clark and Marti too.

I have imagined a totally wonderful and touching duck love story. Two mallards who first met as young duck teens. Then a promise made to mate for life. Now, this sweet couple together all these years. They return every year from the south to the same northern town and neighborhood near a river. They visit daily our "cement pond" for some rest and a swim before flying over the fence to whatever weedy spot in a neighbor's yard they have built a nest. Clark standing watch nearby as Marti fluffs and turns to keep her egg duckys-to-be just the right warmth. Then one day a few weeks later they stop coming to visit our pool. I like to imagine they raised their batch of ducklings down near the brush of the river.



A few days ago I was outside and saw Mama Marti waddle through the neighbors open gate with ducklings following along behind her at just as a fast a waddle. They were so quick. They were making a beeline for the street. Then before I could weigh trying to herd them into our back yard...they were in street, across street and headed down the 3 blocks to busy busy street. I was still weighing just how mad Mike would be to come home to find duck family (with lots of wet messy duck poo) in his city back yard. I knew it was a "no no". But maybe a duck rescue? Catch them in box and transport to river..? But sadly now they were too far away. Too fast and too far. I couldn't see them anymore walking along the side of street. I just like to think Mama Marti took them into another yard with nice weedy spot to hide...maybe another yard with cement pond? I like to think Marti will be back next spring with Clark. I will pray she takes her ducklings east towards the river rather than west to the busy busy street. Circle of life.

Sabbath and Pancakes

Even though we attend a Sunday service church now; we still look forward to our Sabbath (Saturday) every weekend. Sabbath is a gift to us. A day of rest. To me that means letting go for a day of the constant multitasking frenzy of my life. From sundown Friday night to sundown Sabbath I can let go of my "hurry". I can let the kids sleep in and play with the littles when they get up at crack of dawn. I can sit on the couch writing posts for my blog without feeling like I should be sorting dirty clothes. Mostly I can focus my thoughts on the Lord. Read His Word. I have the kind of time to spend Mike and the kids that is difficult to arrange the rest of the week. And I can make pancakes for breakfast. I can read a book when the kids nap. Here is a great quote from a book I really want to read. The book is called "King’s Cross: The Story of the World in the Life of Jesus" by Timothy Keller.

<<“When Jesus says, “I am the Lord of the Sabbath, I can give you rest,” Jesus means that He is the Sabbath.

He is the source of the deep rest we need.

He has come to completely change the way we rest.

The one-day-a-week rest we take is just a taste of the deep divine rest we need — and Jesus is its source.”>> Timothy Keller

Isn't this great!?! Jesus/Yeshua is our rest! He is our big, forever peaceful, burden free, un-frenzied rest. Jesus our never stops at any sundown Sabbath.

Getting back to pancakes.....

Sabbath is about the only day I can imagine willingly dosing my children with sugar. It doesn't matter what form the sugar takes...organic pure maple sugar, honey, cheap syrup, Agave...it all has the same effect on my six little boys. First thing you notice is the volume of everything gets turned up. Pretty soon they are all doing gymnastics in the living room. Someone will surely bite someone else. They are happy. They are dancing. They are just super intense about everything after the powerful sugar drugging. Now, sometimes I am more healthy minded mama. "Healthy Minded Mama" only gives her kids pancakes served with unsweetened applesauce. But mostly on Sabbaths I like to live dangerously and give them their pancakes with syrup.

first batch....

Would you deny these faces the pure joy of real maple syrup on their pancakes?

This guy I can still "fool" with a plain bare naked pancake

Happy smiles with second and third helpings

Some folks just hit the sugar crash early. He may be mad someday that I put his fussy whining face on "stillwater" for all to see. But this blog is really a dairy of our family life. And this sad face is a big part of our life now. I love you Job. Your intenseness is all natural...no sugar needed. God will use you in BIG ways I know it!

And then there are those little people who are always ready with a smile... especially on pancake day

Friday, May 13, 2011

Sand Box Boy Joys

Big Daddy Mike made the sand box over a year ago. ALL the kids love playing in it. Building, sifting, digging for buried treasure. Yes; I know it means sand filled diapers. And yes; it does mean shoes and sand laden socks making the living room a gritty always-needing-swept-pitted-hard-wood-floor. And yes; it means heads of thick dark Ethiopian and African hair and sandy haired Caucasian heads of hair all caked with sand...always needing a shower to rinse out the grit. A-OK...it makes them happy. This digging, building; shifting of earth exercise. It must be wired into them by the Father. Last week I found two little boys...happily, gleefully, digging, shifting sand. Of course that created an impromptu photo opt.

Umm...yes, his shirt is inside out. I told you it was impromptu "boy joys" time.

Goodby Winter!

It was a long winter. The next 4-5 mos we will swim every day (few baths needed), eat our meals outside (less meal mess inside) and wear saddles (no need to find a dozen pair of socks a day). Summer I love you...

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Oh Happy Day!!

Why is this woman so happy..? It is a landmark. We are DTC!!! (dossier to china)

...a little "giggle juice" to celebrate. Plus...an entire Chinese food feast! Chow main, egg rolls, steamed buns, stir fry..... cake too

DTC!!! Dossier to China~ May 9th 2011

This is Elsie for whom we first got PA (pre approval from China to adopt) All this paperwork and headache has been for you baby....

Elshadday (Elsie) Ping Ping...you are sooo cute!

I wish I was standing at end of this hall to scoop her up when she comes running up to me...

I have shared with all you in blogger land about our waiting daughter-to-be in China Elsie Pingping...but to some it may be a surprise that we are adopting two from China. We have gotten PA (pre approval from China) for a 2nd daughter. Charis Yilin turned two years old the day before we got our PA from China to add her to our adoption of Elsie Ping Ping. These toddlers are friends and sometimes foster sisters. I am not sure why I have waited so long to post about our 2nd daughter-to-be. It felt like such a miracle that CCAA (China) said "yes" to us. So much a miracle it seemed scary to post about it (which is silly). I am just speechless...really!..it seems surreal and like a dream. I could not comprehend that GOD and China and our agency and USCIS (U.S. immigration) and Mike ....would say "yes julee"..."you can bring home and make your own; a 2nd wonderful, amazing, and beautiful little girl from China." We thank the Lord that Elsie PingPing and Charis Yilin can be real live sisters now. So much to share and so little time to type as "littles" nap.....but for now, here she is...

It's a hobbit baby! No not really. But who could not just LOVE this baby?! This is the funniest little bundle of joy I have ever seen in my life.

I have heard she is naughty. Cool beans. That means she has had a chance to be naughty. That she is in a place (foster home) that allows healthy normal toddler behavior. There are good orphanages. But in many orphanages around the world children do not ever have the chance to even be allowed a degree of "naughtiness" or "neediness". We can deal with bad habits once our girls are home. What is harder and sometimes impossible to deal with is serious neglect of child in first few years of life. Thank You Lord that our girls are in foster care being loved and spoiled and feeling like they matter. Keep them safe untill we can bring them home to us.

So cute I can not stand it. I just want to scoop her up and snuggle her neck and never let her go.....

So now we w...a...i...t....wait for LID (logged in date`to china). Then; we will wait for more crazy adoption process steps...will keep you all informed. am sure you are on the edge of your seats by now. Just kidding. Just remember this is BIG stuff to us. Every step in process is a step closer to our baby girls girls. BIG DEAL to us.

Mother's Day 2011 part two

Around our house every day is a good day for a tea party. Mother's Day is a given-thing-for-sure-to-be a "Tea Party" day.

My Maggie girl...

Anna and Tamar MyHao

Towabech's first Mother's Day in Feser family

Yasab: she knows how to celebrate special days..

Three of our favorite kinds of tea, gluten free chocolate chip cookies, and caramel turtle brownies...candles lite and fresh flowers. Small but simple touches that write a picture and create a memory of love shared and the joy of family.

Yasab got me the biggest most beautiful oregano plant I have ever seen. I adore herb plants. This oregano plant is in flower and smells divine

Ever since the musical greeting cards with funny songs that play when opened..it is a for sure thing that such a card will show up at every major occasion. The "Littles" will laugh and dance to the "card song" every chance they get.

Maggie and Miriam

They so blessed me this special day