Jonathan would have had his 6th birthday yesterday. So very many memories crammed into the last six years. Though I still battle the ugly memories of the tortuous ordeals he was forced to endure in attempts to save his life...those nightmares have eased some with time. More and more when I think of our "Jonnie" it is with peace and smiles to think of his quirky laugh and song singing. How he woke every morning with a total body molding hug around my neck and sweet whisper of "mama". How he was joy filled by all music and for some strange reason especially enjoyed country music?! No matter how many times nurses and doctors poked him and bled him, tied him down for radiation and chemo...he still always greeted them with smiles and hugs and a happy dance. More joy memories now than haunted nightmare memories. I love how God created time. How He uses it. He uses time as the great healer. He uses time to ripen us in knowledge. He uses time for second chances..He uses time for "seventy times seventy" chances. He uses time to allow the living hell of seeing your child die an agonizing death; to grow a heart in ways only extreme grief can grow it. He uses time to cause the worst things to become "good" things. Things for Him.
I miss Jonathan. Always will. But my life is wonderful. How could it not be when I have such a great God? God who can heal the biggest heartaches and forgive the biggest sins. Thank you God for bringing Jonathan into our family. It was awesome...all of it. Even the hardest parts because when it was hardest You showed Yourself the brightest. Thank you God that I know because of You I will see my Jonathan again. I love him so...and I love You more
A baby for Julee! What a glorious day!
The first time Jonathan went bald from chemo. He wasn't too upset about it as you can tell
Transplant was delayed a second time so we were blessed with a third Christmas and Hanukkah with Jonathan
Home away from home "Ronald McDonald House" in Seattle
With big brother Cody at BMT (bone marrow transplant) post radiation and chemo...last day with hair
What radiation, chemo poison and 17 other IV meds can make a person feel like
My poor sweet Jonnie losing the fight for life.