A sparrow when I'm broken, and eagle when I fly.....

Welcome to my world. I am an ordinary wife and mom who has been extraordinarily blessed by an amazing husband and house full of beautiful children. My prayer is that you will be somehow blessed by our family's story. It is a tale of God's grace and forgiveness...His loving kindness and patience with us His children as we strive & struggle everyday to bless His name with our lives

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

1 Year and God's Math

One year ago Mike and I officially started a new adoption. We had known we would adopt again but weren't sure when we would be ready. We were still raw from Jonathan's death in April. The only thing we could do was to keep to the path God had laid before us. Though we felt beaten and defeated in grief's rough hands, we HAD to remain the people God had created us to be. It was a big step in our healing process. Sometimes it feels like "you" have died when you bury someone. Being who God made you to be reminds you that you are still alive.

We'd had for a long time the picture of a little girl named Edelawit in Ethiopia on our frig. She was sitting on the lap of a nun next to a friend's child-to-be. We loved this little girl. Beware: putting orphan's kids pics on your frig reminds you to pray for them and you also fall in love with them! We started the paperwork for her and also asked to be matched with a baby boy. Our family had been through so much with Jonathan's illness the last few years. For this reason we chose to do easiest adoption (younger than our youngest at home) and easiest special need (HIV). We found out about Assefa our baby boy at AHOPE shortly before our dossier went to Ethiopia in August. We "thought" our kids would be home in November. Sadly we lost the referral for our sweet girl while visiting Addis in Oct. We added our adorable Down Syndrome toddler Gezehegn to Assefa's adoption.

We never imagined that we would have found ourselves here a year later still waiting for our new kids. That is so often the way isn't it? We begin to a course knowing what God wants us to do and "thinking" we know how it will turn out. Stuff happened "worse" than I ever imagined. Stuff like losing our little girl's referral and endless ridiculous delays for the boys. And stuff happened "better" than I ever imagined. Big stuff like being here in AL a year later loving on this precious baby boy. Big stuff like three trips to Ethiopia in the last year where God worked in HUGE ways in a lot of lives. God's math at work. When things seem like disaster to us; God is powerfully working in ways not possible if stuff had turned out that way we wanted it too.

What equals "good" and "bad" in God's math is totally different that the math of good and bad of this world. This world calls "bad" the sick, weak, and needy. In God's math our weakness and poverty of spirit are "good" (for us). Our pain, frustrations and great neediness is what causes us to call out to God. When we approach him with our brokenness and emptiness is when He swoops down and feeds us His riches. He fills us up with Himself and heals us. Then He shows us how to share His love with others. We share because God Stuff is too exciting and fantastic not to share.

Father in Heaven, thank you that Your ways are perfect and Your riches exceed our wildest dreams. Thank you when You reveal more of Your love to us in our pain and need. Help us when things seem bad here in our temporary home...to seek You and Your comfort. Use Lord even our hardest times in this world to refine us and mold us into the children to You that You created us to be. Amen


1 comment:

Audrey said...

Julee, thank you for this beautiful post. I have been following your journey to adopt the boys - shaking my head at the delays and wondering why this is just so difficult.

I needed to read this today. We are at one of those stages in our adoption where the obstacles are big and only God can overcome them for us. We wait and trust in His perfect plan.

Praying for your family and this new little addition. What a blessing!