Spokane and Snoqualmie Pass

Very early tomorrow morning Berhanu, Maggie, Yasab and I leave for Spokane. Berhanu has his oncology clinic appointments and a sedated CAT scan Wednesday afternoon. Thursday Maggie sees her neurosurgeon and has a CAT scan to check her VP shunt. We'd love to spend the night with our Dalaina and Rob and the grandkids...but we can't get Maggie and her wheelchair into their house. So we will be whooping it up with cable TV and room service at the Quality Inn. Yasab is coming as I need her to help me get the wheelchair in and out of the van. It's nice to have some "car drive" time once in awhile with a older child. Stuck in a car on a long drive makes an opportunity for some nice long conversations...I always learn the most interesting things about my kids on long drives.

We get home Thursday night and Friday morning I leave for Snoqualmie Pass for an adoptive mom's retreat. I knew I was going before I left for Ethiopia but haven't and a spare day to really prepare for the retreat. I am speaking Friday night, doing two small workshops on Saturday and speaking Sunday morning. I am looking forward to the weekend. What could be cooler than hanging with like minded Christian adoptive moms? I am praying that it is a refreshing and uplifting time for all of us there and that God guides my words and conversations over the weekend.

Our personal adoption saga continues. More failed court dates and postponements in Ethiopia. The details are just too depressing to go into now. I have no idea when our boys will be home. Maybe Gezehegn will be home sometime this summer and maybe Assefa will be home next fall. Sometimes I truly doubt they will ever be home. I don't understand. I don't understand why this is taking so long. I only know that God loves those boys more than we do. I don't have to understand the situation if I do understand the God who loves and works all things for His good.

Julee

March Birthdays

Since April has almost disappeared I guess I should post the March Birthday Pics. This year I was thankful to be here to celebrate these special days with Anna, Kayla, Michael and Josiah. The last two years I ave been out of town with Jonathan in hospitals for the March birthdays. March is a big month as each birthday person chooses a favorite breakfast and dinner PLUS has a movie night with treats and camping out in living room. Mike came home from work one night near Anna's birthday and told her, Miriam and Meseret to get in the car. They were blown away surprised when he pulled up to the movie theater to watch the Jonas Brother's Concert in 3D!! It was the high point of their entire lives to this point!

Miss Anna turned 9 on March 8th. Nine years ago this day we first felt the call to adopt....the same day Anna was born in China far far away.


Kayla (my right hand mommy2 and all around helper) turned 24 on March 12th



Man-child and lone bio boy at home Michael turned 18 March 19th



Happy Josiah who turned 8 on March 29th



Julee

How far behind is too far behind?

I am so behind in blogging. My vision of being able to keep current with this web site has died and been buried. Oh well. As a procrastinator with high expectations (a combo that creates a crazy stressed gal) I will deal with this as I do with all things I get behind in. Massive catch up... not done as well as if I had blogged as it was happening..but at least it will be done. The thing about us procrastinators is that we really shine when fire is lite under us. Then we have an excuse if our work isn't excellent cus after all...we had to rush through it.

So, current news first and that will be interspersed with travel stories from recent trip to Ethiopia and other family happenings.

Julee

The World is Lighter

So, I have been home from Ethiopia over a week and feel completely recovered. Friday we took off to Goldendale for the weekend. It was our last chance to go for awhile as Mike is starting the "outage*" very soon. It was gorgeous up in the mountains. The air was clear and a bit chilly. When the kids cheeks got too cold to stay outside on the zip line or hiking the paths with Daddy..we moved indoors to sit by the wood stove and read books or play games. We feasted on special camping type food and just relaxed mostly. I realized that it was the very nicest time I have ever had there. I think I figured out why that was. The first times we went to visit the cabin in Goldendale was with Jonathan. The first trips were really fun but there was always hanging over our head Jonathan's upcoming BMT (bone marrow transplant). We had to make sure Jonnie had enough blood or platelets to make it through our weekend. We had to be constantly checking his temperature in case he came down with line infection and we had to make an ER run. Mostly the stress I didn't realize at the time, was all about the life or death event of the BMT we were racing toward. Looking back I can see it was a huge weighty fear hovering over all my thoughts. Our trips to Goldendale after Jonathan died were really good for us as a family. But I was still such a train wreak the first months after he died that any and every place was hell to me. This past weekend I found myself relaxed and enjoying Mike and the kids and the beauty I found myself in. I was able to enjoy things in a way not possible when my heavy cloak of great sadness colored all things dark grey. Of course I still have lots of moments of giving into my grief. I most recently have been having the worst nightmares about Jonathan that wake me in agony and terror. Those bad dreams carry over to the whole day sometimes. BUT, in general, I can see how I am getting better. Wow. Realizing what a good time I had at Goldendale was SOOO encouraging. There is light at the end of this grief tunnel?!! Of course I "knew" it from past loss, but knowing it and "owning" it is different. The world just got a bit lighter.

Julee

**the "outage" is the every other year planned shut down of the nuclear power reactor where Mike works. It means lots of mandatory overtime hours and more $ too.
Enjoy the photos posted below from our weekend in Goldendale

back from Ethiopia

Oh my gosh....JET LAG. I got home a few days ago but everything is still a blur to me. I feel like I was kidnapped by aliens or at least run over by a mule train or something. I have so much to share when my head stops hurting and the world is not tilting at such a crazy angle. Tigist and I had such adventures in Ethiopia! Gezehegn and Assefa are ever so wonderful little boys. God showed His graciousness and His beautiful face around every corner. I am glad to be home...just waiting impatiently to be somewhat functional again. Will write more soon!!

check back here tomorrow....

Julee
dizzy yes, but happy to be with my U.S. kiddos and one and only Mike

So behind but still here...

...it has been busy but so fun around here. Last Saturday Mike and I had our big birthday bash at West Side Center. Many family and friends came to help us celebrate our 50th birthday. We need to do the whole family potluck thing more often. We don't need a birthday excuse. It is just so nice to be able to gather together and catch up. The cool thing about West Side Center is the gym. The kids could play there all day long as the adult visit their hearts out. Our grown son Jake and his wife Holly and kids Silas and Lauren came up from southern Oregon. They were able to stay and are going home today. Our eldest son Cody came from Seattle and also leaves today. I am never happier than when my chicks are under our roof again. Cody has been making gourmet feasts for us. It is enough to make us "foodies" to be able to experience his cooking! Mmmm. He also loves to teach so he imparts some culinary skills to the rest of us when he comes to visit.

I love watching my big boys Jake, Cody and Michael together. I love that they love each other so much and they are best friends. It helps me know that the family dynamics will go on strong after Mike and I are gone.

Of course my heart soars to have the grandbabies here. (I also got to see Dalaina and granddaughter Skylar on Saturday) I could go on and on about how adorable, smart and well behaved they all are...but I will save you from my gushing. Suffice it to say that spending these past few days with the grandkids felt like a bonus reward for the past 30 plus years of being a mommy.

On the adoption front PLEASE pray for our Ethiopian boy's next court dates on April 3rd and April 7th. It looks like there is a chance baby Assefa's case will be able to be split from Gezehegn's so the baby can come home sooner. The case for Gezehegn is still fouled up. Our agency AAI has an extra attorney working on it and we know they are all doing everything they can to make it happen. We get so disheartened and fearful our little guy will never come home?!? But I know from Merrily (our agency director) they AAI keeps working for the kids until the child comes home no matter how long that take. In all the many years they have been working in Ethiopia there has only been a few cases where the adoption didn't happen. That usually was a situation where birth family came and took their child back.

This adoption was way harder than my wildest imaginings. It is a good thing we didn't know how hard it would be this time or we would not have done it! I also know that once the boys are home (and I HAVE TO believe they will eventually be home!) that we will look back at how hard it was and we will know it was all TOTALLY worth it!

Here is Silas and his daddy Jake very stylish looking


Here is Holly with Lauren and Maggie


May this find you all basking in your Father's great love and may today bring you the peace and joy that only comes from Him
Julee

This is really hard...

.....this waiting for children to come home. We learned yesterday that the courts refused to hear Assefa's case early and we need to wait till April court dates. I have hit a all time low for me in adoption. At this point I am so discouraged I actually question if I would want to adopt again? (this is a first for me) I KNOW I have made it harder on myself by visiting the babies twice. I KNEW it would make it harder to wait for them after spending so much time with them. Mike and I just felt that even though it makes our wait more painful, the benefits outweighed our pain.

I KNOW I can trust God in this situation. I just feel weak, discouraged and broken hearted. It is a good place to be to come to God but it sure hurts now.

New photos of baby Assefa show him realy healthy and big! He is growing up without a family. He is HIV+ and needs to be home with medical care here! Gezehegn doesn't look as healthy as Assefa. Poor Gezehegn looks neglected and hungry. There are no words to say how sad it is for him to be there and He needs to be home!

I have kept the reciepts from all the "retail therapy" I have done the last nine months since starting this adoption. Today I am going to return all the baby boy clothes for they will all be too small for Assefa by the time he comes home. "If" he passes court April 3rd, travel won't be till mid May. He will be almost 11 months old then. I am done with retail therapy and won;t buy another thing until they pass court and we have an embassey date.

I have some more upbeat news to share and will be sending some Happy Birthday posts out as soon as I find my camera cord to upload photos.

thanks for listening
Julee