A sparrow when I'm broken, and eagle when I fly.....

Welcome to my world. I am an ordinary wife and mom who has been extraordinarily blessed by an amazing husband and house full of beautiful children. My prayer is that you will be somehow blessed by our family's story. It is a tale of God's grace and forgiveness...His loving kindness and patience with us His children as we strive & struggle everyday to bless His name with our lives

Saturday, October 23, 2010

No Premature Deaths

There are no premature deaths. Really. I know this because I believe what God says in His word.

"All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalms 139:16

I believe that means He knows our "birth" day to our "death" day. Just like He knows the day our real life begins in eternity.

Not only does God know every day of our whole life but He knows us intimately from our first second of life. In the same Psalm He says..

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. Praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body."

Psalms 139:13-15

I believe we are created without mistake or flaw....fearfully and wonderfully made. Jonathan was wonderfully made including his special extra chromosome that makes a person Down Syndrome. I also know that God knew Jonathan's bone marrow would one day stop working. He knew that our precious little boy would die a long horrible and painful death from aplastic anemia. Do I know why? No. There is much I do not know or understand. But I do not have to understand all that because of the things I do know. I know God. I know God is good and only good and that He makes no mistakes. I know that when we suffer and are in pain He is right there with us...leading us through it and closer to Him.

Today was a day of happy and sad memories. Jonathan would have been five years old today if he had lived. I also realized he has been gone just about as long as we had him with us. He died about 2 1/2 years ago at about age 2 1/2 years.

October 23rd 2005..."the first time ever I saw your face"

A dream come true....our sweet baby boy. What a miracle and a surprise from God!

October 23rd 2006 Jonathan's 1st birthday...
October 23rd 2007 He'd been diagnosed with aplastic anemia 6 mos before and we were so thankful he had survived to his 2nd birthday. A day of celebration and praying for the transplant and healing to happen soon.

These photos were taken while Jonathan and I were living at the Ronald McDonald House waiting for transplant. This was about one of the last times I remember him having a day without pain. He was dead a few months later.
I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living ...
my baby you'll be.


~Heart 2 Home~ said...

He is precious. Thank you for sharing about his birthday and life. Sorry for your aching heart today and well everyday. The birthdays are more difficult, though. We will be in Ethiopia on Nov 17th. Our Joshua had already gone home to be with the Lord when he was born almost 7 years ago now. Looking forward to the day when there will be no more pain and no more sorrow. ((♥Hugs♥))

A. Gillispie said...

Julee, your words encourage me. I'm so sorry you know what it feels like to lose a child. I can't imagine. I can imagine losing my husband--expect I'll lose him long before I want to because of his health issues. I'm going to tuck your words away somewhere so that I can come back to them someday when I'm feeling discouraged. I believe your words today were inspired. You remind us of important truths!

Just think how wonderful it will be to spend eternity with your boy!


Charity Hildebrand said...

What a beautiful post, Julee! Praying for you guys today!