A sparrow when I'm broken, and eagle when I fly.....

Welcome to my world. I am an ordinary wife and mom who has been extraordinarily blessed by an amazing husband and house full of beautiful children. My prayer is that you will be somehow blessed by our family's story. It is a tale of God's grace and forgiveness...His loving kindness and patience with us His children as we strive & struggle everyday to bless His name with our lives

Monday, September 29, 2008

Newest Feser Blessings-Adoption Part One

Our family always knew we would adopt again. In fact we had thought to start a new adoption in early 2007 but we put those plans on hold when Jonathan was diagnosed with aplastic anemia. Through his illness we kept up to date of happenings in the adoption world. Mike and I planned to adopt as soon as Jonathan was stable and well. We were always aware that he could die; but I just don’t think one can ever really prepare themselves for that. I thought I was prepared, but I wasn’t. When he died adopting another child was the very last thing on my mind. All I wanted was Jonathan.

For the first time ever…Mike himself broached the subject of adoption to me. He told me the day after Jonnie died that in a few months we would be getting our paperwork updated to adopt a little girl from Ethiopia. This happened in the long car ride home from Seattle on our way to funeral home with Jonathan in the back seat. I told Mike I wasn’t ready to think about adoption and wouldn’t be for a long time, maybe never be able to think about it again. * Mike bringing up the adoption to me was a total shock. It is always me…seeing a child’s photo, or hearing of a child needing home….presenting their case to Mike….begging to bring them home…. And hardest for me of all…..learning to trust that God speaks to Mike when a child is the right one for our family.

On June 9th two months after Jonathan died I realized something. I realized that no matter how much I missed Jonathan and wanted him back; I still loved the other kids just as much as always. This helped me to understand that I could love new children just as much as the children we have now. And I could love new children even though I would grieve forever for Jonathan. That is the day we started our new adoption. If you see the “ticker” on the top of my blog posts…that is the date we count as the beginning of this adoption. June 9th I spent all day in the Word. I looked up every single passage in the Bible that mentions heaven. Next to each verse I wrote the date and the name “Neveah” (Heaven spelled backwards) I knew God was going to give us a daughter and I wanted “heaven” to be a part of her name. Her name would be a testament to our real home and that which we long for….finally one day being with Jesus and with Jonathan again too. God also gave me two other very special names that were a message to Mike and I. One name was “Job” which means “surviving or triumphing over affliction” and the other was “Judah” which means “Praise (God)”. These names were again reinforcing God’s message to praise Him in all things. (Praise Him in Affliction)This is such a big thing in my relationship with God. Not only must I obey Him by praising Him for all things, but He shows ALWAYS that His ways are best and worthy of all our praise! It is all about glorifying Him. Stuff happens I don’t like and would change if I could. I HATE seeing any child suffer, but especially hate seeing my own suffer. We praise Him because we KNOW He is worthy and His plans are perfect. We praise Him not just because He says too but because it is what we were made for. We praise Him because no matter how painful and awful life can be …there is no better place that right beside HIM praising His name and being in His will.

It is amazing how smoothly and quickly this adoption has gone so far. At least the paperwork has seemed easier this time. The “wait” has been MUCH easier than I ever remember it being. That might have something to do with the fact that we are meeting our new kids in a few days! Ask me how easy the “wait” is after we have to leave them at the orphanages in Ethiopia and come back here to wait for court in Ethiopia and the adoption travel dates.

More on the little munchkins and newest Fesers-to-be in next post.

dreaming of holding wee little ones again
and drinking deep of sweet baby smell

1 comment:

Jenn said...

Julee, I'm so excited for you guys! Can't wait to hear more!! Enjoy your exciting adventure!