A sparrow when I'm broken, and eagle when I fly.....

Welcome to my world. I am an ordinary wife and mom who has been extraordinarily blessed by an amazing husband and house full of beautiful children. My prayer is that you will be somehow blessed by our family's story. It is a tale of God's grace and forgiveness...His loving kindness and patience with us His children as we strive & struggle everyday to bless His name with our lives

Friday, June 12, 2009

no shunt today

Surgery postponed again for baby. The ped neurosurgeon on duty today felt that it wasn't quite time yet (or bad enough) to do the VP shunt on baby. It will be reevaluated throughout the weekend and Monday. I have been praying that it would self resolve and he wouldn't need a shunt. Keep praying for that. It would awesome for him if he didn't need one. There is talk of him going to private room or even being discharged to Ronald McDonald House with me. No hurry though, they will talk about that Monday too. He is eating better today and is awake a lot more. He is so much fun to spend time with!

Julee

Great Christain Fiction

So in my "off" hours out of the NICU I have been reading. I started a great book on the plane and finished it and also part 2 of the series. The author is named Allison Pittman. Book one is called "Ten Thousand Charms" and book two is "Speak Through The Wind". (too bad I have never figured out how to post cute links to outside info on my blog....must learn that soon!) I ordered the third book in series last night from Amazon to be shipped to me here at Ronald McDonald House. I know I am not the only Francine Rivers fan. Her "Redeeming Love" is a classic and the fiction book that most changed my life. Yasab fell in love with Jesus reading "Redeeming Love". These books by Allison Pittman remind me of "Redeeming Love". Just had to share!

Off to NICU. Visiting hours start at 9:00AM and I like to be there waiting and watching the clock to get right in there to gaze at that beautiful face! As it stands now his shunt surgery is #4 on the schedule and will happen around 12:30-1:00 PM.

Julee

Thursday, June 11, 2009

update on ET court and VP shunt

No news from Ethiopia today. Assefa had court. A few cases passed but mostly the news was that MOWA letters were not ready. Agency has emailed to find out specifically about Assefa. I am assuming that the needed info on non existent birth father of Gezehegn is still missing so both still in limbo land. ugh

Our sweet baby boy here in Alabama NICU needs a VP shunt. He was going to have surgery yesterday and was NPO (no food) till 2:00PM when we were told he had been bumped to Friday for surgery. He has become a sluggish bottle feeder (swallowing is one skill you lose with inter cranial pressure) and is very sleepy. I hear that the surgery schedule is packed for tomorrow and he may be bumped to first thing Saturday. ugh. Poor baby. I shared with staff in NICU today that I am used to older child with VP shunt where you just don't mess around with even suspicion that the child needs surgery. Newborns skulls have so much "give" that it really isn't an emergency. Relaxing about postponing shunt placement though goes against ever fiber of my being and it totally out of my comfort zone. I always like to say how good it is for all of us to step out of our comfort zones....It may be good for me but I still can't wait until he has a working shunt and a flat fontanel. Wanna see a pretty head still without a shaved spot and shunt showing under skin? Here he is...

Ooops...I can not seem to add photos. I think the dial up connection is too slow at Ronald McDonald to do photos. I will try later. There is wireless in downstairs family room that I can try tonight.

Julee

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

1 Year and God's Math

One year ago Mike and I officially started a new adoption. We had known we would adopt again but weren't sure when we would be ready. We were still raw from Jonathan's death in April. The only thing we could do was to keep to the path God had laid before us. Though we felt beaten and defeated in grief's rough hands, we HAD to remain the people God had created us to be. It was a big step in our healing process. Sometimes it feels like "you" have died when you bury someone. Being who God made you to be reminds you that you are still alive.

We'd had for a long time the picture of a little girl named Edelawit in Ethiopia on our frig. She was sitting on the lap of a nun next to a friend's child-to-be. We loved this little girl. Beware: putting orphan's kids pics on your frig reminds you to pray for them and you also fall in love with them! We started the paperwork for her and also asked to be matched with a baby boy. Our family had been through so much with Jonathan's illness the last few years. For this reason we chose to do easiest adoption (younger than our youngest at home) and easiest special need (HIV). We found out about Assefa our baby boy at AHOPE shortly before our dossier went to Ethiopia in August. We "thought" our kids would be home in November. Sadly we lost the referral for our sweet girl while visiting Addis in Oct. We added our adorable Down Syndrome toddler Gezehegn to Assefa's adoption.

We never imagined that we would have found ourselves here a year later still waiting for our new kids. That is so often the way isn't it? We begin to a course knowing what God wants us to do and "thinking" we know how it will turn out. Stuff happened "worse" than I ever imagined. Stuff like losing our little girl's referral and endless ridiculous delays for the boys. And stuff happened "better" than I ever imagined. Big stuff like being here in AL a year later loving on this precious baby boy. Big stuff like three trips to Ethiopia in the last year where God worked in HUGE ways in a lot of lives. God's math at work. When things seem like disaster to us; God is powerfully working in ways not possible if stuff had turned out that way we wanted it too.

What equals "good" and "bad" in God's math is totally different that the math of good and bad of this world. This world calls "bad" the sick, weak, and needy. In God's math our weakness and poverty of spirit are "good" (for us). Our pain, frustrations and great neediness is what causes us to call out to God. When we approach him with our brokenness and emptiness is when He swoops down and feeds us His riches. He fills us up with Himself and heals us. Then He shows us how to share His love with others. We share because God Stuff is too exciting and fantastic not to share.

Father in Heaven, thank you that Your ways are perfect and Your riches exceed our wildest dreams. Thank you when You reveal more of Your love to us in our pain and need. Help us when things seem bad here in our temporary home...to seek You and Your comfort. Use Lord even our hardest times in this world to refine us and mold us into the children to You that You created us to be. Amen

Julee
Things are going good here in Baby Land. Our baby is thriving. He was allowed to get off his tummy yesterday afternoon (5 days post spinal repair) and this made eating MUCH easier for him. Imagine trying to learn to take a bottle flat on your stomach with your head lower than your bottom?! I have been able to hold him and feed him and he is loving it. So am I! Everyone in NICU is still looking towards a VP shunt but since it isn't "emergency" at this point they are giving him a few more days. There is a chance the fluid on brain issue may resolve itself though that seems unlikely. A part of me sort of wished if they had to do it they do it sooner so he could be discharged sooner.....BUT if he doesn't need a shunt yet that would be better. It is worth waiting just to be sure. Once you have a VP shunt you have it for life. It's a big deal and one to avoid if at all possible.

Some of the drama with birth parent issues is dieing down. God is blessing my socks off with HIS presence. I am constantly finding myself in tears. I can handle most all things without crying. But feeling God working, talking about Him to others, seeing the miracles He works, and basking in His extravagant grace and love towards me....well, all that stuff makes me cry. There's something about His spirit moving that makes my eyes leak out all the time.

I can tell you that He is in this situation 1000%. He loves us and loves this baby. He has a very special plan for this child. He told me. I have such peace. I know that no matter what ever happens in the coming months that we are right where our Father wants us, and that He is working His good purposes in this time.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

from Baby Land

Our new baby is doing really well. I will post his name and pic next week ..but till then believe me when I say he is gorgeous! The bandage is off his back and his "repair" is healing up nicely. He seems ready to be able to get off his stomach. He only needs to stay on stomach with his head lower that his bottom for five days after surgery, so Monday..tomorrow he should be able to be in more natural positions. It's hard to bottle feed laying on your tummy. He is doing pretty well eating but he still gets fatigued and frustrated with the awkward position. They have been slowly upping the amount of formula they want him to take. Whatever he doesn't take by the bottle is fed via NG tube. So far no signs he needs a VP shunt but I am still counting on that happening. He is still cathed every 12 hours but there is little urine left in bladder. He wets his diapers a lot though. This is great! and I believe they will stop the cathing today. He does leak stool constantly and has sore bottom because of it. He does move his legs a tiny bit. Less than he did before surgery. He seems to feel some when I touch his legs so I am happy about that!

Within the next few days the staff will be meeting with me again to discuss when he will be discharged. After discharge I will have to stay here longer for adoption related paperwork. The paperwork issues I mentioned before was that it came out once I got here that birth Dad is Native American. This is a situation that requires new paperwork filed in court and "permission" from the tribe. Please pray. We are hoping it helps that Mike's "Little Grandma" was full blooded Native American and that we practice such strong cultural respect and education with all our children; both bio and adopted. The issues with the Tribe will not keep me from coming home with baby but could in future complicate finalizing adoption.

I am spending every second I can in NICU with baby and once back at RMH (Ronald McDonald House)I am so exhausted I can hardly think let alone get post. I realized I need to start eating better and sleeping more while here. The high level of emotions seems to equate to exhaustion. Anyone else notice that? Like you are way more tired when your emotions are climbing peaks and valleys all day long?

I have been so blessed by the time I have spent with birth mom and dad. It's sad that Mike can't be here for this. When we come back in three months to finalize adoption Mike will be able to meet birth parents. Adoption always has grief and loss attached. No matter newborn adoption with known birth parents, foster care adoption, international adoption. No matter the age, situation or type of adoption....it is always a journey filled with extremes of emotions and contrasts of those who gaining and losing.

Keep praying for baby and his healing. Keep praying for Mike as he finishes the "outage" at work. Keep praying for Kayla as she cares for the kids at home. KEEP praying for all my kids! I have a grown chick who is hurting and this hen just wants to be able to scoop 'em up under my wings. I have to give that over to the Father's sheltering wings. I miss the kids at home and have no idea when I will be home with them. I am SOOO thankful for Kayla and that I can know all is well at home.

Even though I am in Baby Land and falling deeper and deeper in love with our little guy every second.....my heart still aches for our boys in Ethiopia. I can not help but fear for them and the continued delays. Assefa has a new court date on June 11. This was moved up from his late June date so that was good news! Gezehegn STILL needs more info for MOWA and court about birth parents. Imagine how hard it is to track down a beggar women who relinquished a child years ago? ugh. Pray for Gezehegn's needed paperwork so he can come home to us.

Love, Julee

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Baby Blessings!!

I'm in Alabama with a beautiful baby boy! Found out baby was coming Tuesday morning. I got off the plan early Wednesday morning. It's been a wonderful whirlwind since then. It's about midnight Thursday night and I have Internet for the first time. Had to share our news with my blogging buddies! Too exhausted to write much but I will have much more opportunities to get online now.

Baby had his repair surgery yesterday (for spina bifida). He is doing good. They have a great NICU here. They are watching him for for signs he will need VP shunt. He is adorable! Some paperwork glitches with adoption (I expect this nowadays, I am cynical?) Baby is adorable! Oh, did I say that already?

Love, Julee
blown away with baby love fever