Stillwater..

hey friends...I am in China, Yah!

2011-11-22T13:42:00.001-08:00

Hey friends...I am in China, Yah! I can't get access here (at least so far ) to blogger or facebook..so I set up this babyjellybeans site. Please check it to follow my travel journal and photos of the trip here to china to get the two new girls. The site is http://www.babyjellybeans.com/web/do/site?ID=32176 and there is no password needed. i am able to use my gmail account though so feel free to email me! Blessings to you all!>>

2011-11-16T05:33:00.001-08:00

Testing sending blog posts to stillwater via my cell phone

packing....

2011-11-14T06:27:00.000-08:00

Looking at the photo of stacked toddler girl outfits below...I see a trend of animal prints. No, I am not bringing all this.

Anna, Miriam and I leave in six days for China! It is finally time to pull out all the little girl clothes I have been stashing in the closet for the last eleven months since we started this adoption. Since then we have twice received weights, heights, and feet length on the girls. My guess is that both Elsie and Charis wear about size 18 mos clothes. A guess is all that is. I am packing clothes in sizes 12 mos, 18 mos and 24 mos. The truth is that it's possible very little of what I am packing will fit. In that case we will hit the Walmart in Nanning. Walmart has revolutionized travel to China. I think we could go there with just the clothes on our back and buy all we need in China...if we wanted too. I don't want too. I want to be prepared to hunker down in hotel room snuggling my new babies...not dragging brand new kids to big department store to find clothes, diapers and snacks. It is going to be rough on Charis and Elsie to do all the stuff we HAVE to do.....like official adoption appointments. These two toddlers will not be used to car travel or shopping at all. Hopefully the outfits I'm bringing will fit. I think they will look adorable in anything though.

Our first adoption was from China ten years ago. Mike, Michael and I traveled to adopt Anna. We went COO (carry on only). I loved it. No checking luggage or waiting long hours for luggage to be unloaded off plane. COO is not as practical nowadays with airline security. I do pack all basic necessities in my carry on bag though. Meds, camera, IPOD, basic makeup, change of underwear and tshirt, and all important paperwork. I like to feel that even if all my luggage is lost we could still get by with what is in "carry on' bag and what we could buy in China. This has worked well. 98% of the time your luggage winds up with you after your flight. The other 2% of the time it is sure good to be prepared

Judah's 6th Birthday!

2011-11-07T18:09:00.000-08:00

This is catch-up post of Judah's birthday. The day that began our CARS 2 marathon. The day my boys fell back in love with Lighting McQueen. I now hear Owen Wilson talking to me in my sleep.

Happy Birthday Judah! Judah was adopted right before his 4th birthday so he has been with us for two years now. We love you so much little man! YOU were a surprise gift of great worth to our family! I will never forget when we visited Gladney's orphanage in Addis Ababa in Ethiopia...we walked into the toddler room and there you were! Sitting on the floor and looking up at us. You were perfect. You were beautiful. What a miracle that you later became our son!

Yes...this pretty birthday cake cupcake is a Costco chocolate muffin in disguise. I love you Costco. You Costco are my friend for oh so many reasons.

This might have been a bit more spitting at candle not blowing at candle...

Yah!! I am really six years old now!

Cake might be good and tasty but the real fun is watching the new CARS 2 Movie for the next year every day. At least once every day. Many multiple times a day. Depending on mental health of parent and how badly they need "q u i e t" time. Times when only noise in our home is voices of Lighting McQueen and his friends.

My 2 favorite "A"s!!

2011-11-07T12:14:00.000-08:00

Oh glorious "A"s...that bring us closer to our sweet baby girls waiting in China...

Elsie Ping Ping

Younger Elsie mug shot

Charis Yilin

Charis mug shot

My two favorite "A"s?

Well TA and CA of course! Yahooo!!! Friday our agency emailed to tell us we had TA (travel approval) and they were trying to get us CA (consulate appointment). Today I heard our CA(consulate appointment) is confirmed for Dec 6th! Yahooo again!!! TA comes from China and is permission for us (me) to travel to China for the adoption of "Elsie Ping Ping" and "Charis Yilin". TA is the BIG thing you wait for in world of China adoption. Yahooooooo!The CA is the confirmation from U.S. embassy in Guangzhou China that they have us scheduled for our consulate date. This is where we go to obtain the U.S. visa for Charis and Elsie to travel home to U.S. Ya Ya Yahoooo! Today all day, so far has been booking flights while walking on air. Praises be to our GREAT GOD. He brought our tax refund last week as well as the news of our super cool "A"s!
Anna and Miriam will be traveling with me to China to pick up Elsie and Charis. Anna was adopted from China at age 20 mos and Miriam was adopted from China at 3 1/2 years old. This will be their first trip back to their "motherland". This is going to be amazing! We leave two weeks from today on November 21st and get home I think December 9th! Oh my goodness ...it is the countdown to meeting our new little girls!!

Solly's September Seven Year Old Birthday

2011-10-30T18:26:00.000-07:00

This post would fall under "summer blog post catch up". There are too many great events that happened to pass them up and move on to fall/winter blogging. One important day was Solomon's 7th birthday! Whenever we have a birthday it means a "party" for everyone! Solly chose hot dogs for his birthday dinner...of course. That boy could eat four of Costco big ole hot dogs in one sitting. Everyone was happy with meal choice. Mom too as it is just so easy to fix.

Here is Solomon with his first hot dog as a seven year old

Miriam looking much too old and mature for her eleven years. sigh

Miriam and Towabech

The goofiness starting even before the cake educed sugar rushes

Yah...the time is now. Just gotta blow out the candle and then presents!

A super duper remote controlled car

Guess what I miss when the weather turns colder? I miss lots of stuff about summer; but for birthday partys eating messy chocolate cake outside is fun fun fun. And way less mess and clean up than messy chocolate cake inside at dining table.

What God Can Do: Happy Birthday Jonathan

2011-10-24T09:34:00.000-07:00

Jonathan would have had his 6th birthday yesterday. So very many memories crammed into the last six years. Though I still battle the ugly memories of the tortuous ordeals he was forced to endure in attempts to save his life...those nightmares have eased some with time. More and more when I think of our "Jonnie" it is with peace and smiles to think of his quirky laugh and song singing. How he woke every morning with a total body molding hug around my neck and sweet whisper of "mama". How he was joy filled by all music and for some strange reason especially enjoyed country music?! No matter how many times nurses and doctors poked him and bled him, tied him down for radiation and chemo...he still always greeted them with smiles and hugs and a happy dance. More joy memories now than haunted nightmare memories. I love how God created time. How He uses it. He uses time as the great healer. He uses time to ripen us in knowledge. He uses time for second chances..He uses time for "seventy times seventy" chances. He uses time to allow the living hell of seeing your child die an agonizing death; to grow a heart in ways only extreme grief can grow it. He uses time to cause the worst things to become "good" things. Things for Him.

I miss Jonathan. Always will. But my life is wonderful. How could it not be when I have such a great God? God who can heal the biggest heartaches and forgive the biggest sins. Thank you God for bringing Jonathan into our family. It was awesome...all of it. Even the hardest parts because when it was hardest You showed Yourself the brightest. Thank you God that I know because of You I will see my Jonathan again. I love him so...and I love You more

A baby for Julee! What a glorious day!

The first time Jonathan went bald from chemo. He wasn't too upset about it as you can tell

Transplant was delayed a second time so we were blessed with a third Christmas and Hanukkah with Jonathan

Home away from home "Ronald McDonald House" in Seattle

With big brother Cody at BMT (bone marrow transplant) post radiation and chemo...last day with hair

What radiation, chemo poison and 17 other IV meds can make a person feel like

My poor sweet Jonnie losing the fight for life.

This is how I think of you little man! Happy and at home! Can't wait to be in our real home with you and someday!

Summer Spells Berries

2011-10-22T10:43:00.001-07:00

Judah in moment of strawberry bliss

Blueberrie pancakes don't really even need syrup

Berries for pancakes from our very own little strawberry patch out back

I always make a lot of jam in the summer. We love freezer jam the best for it's fresh flavor and that it isn't made with as much sugar. Mike wanted me to make more cooked canned jam this year so as to not have to use up so much of our freezer space. Some days we use up a quart of jam a day. Yes, I said quart. That's a lot of jam in a year. I like making it myself as i can control amount of sugar added plus I know it is just fruit and sugar...not chemicals or preservatives. Tastes better too! Here is some strawberry, blackberry, and Strawberry/blueberry jam.

Father's Day 2011

2011-10-22T09:39:00.001-07:00

Happy Father's Day Honey...even though you are a stranger to me here....Right before Father's Day Mike shaved off his mustache and goatee. In the 22 years I have been with him he has always had hair on his face. Now...he is handsome with and without hair on face...it is just he didn't look like my husband with bare naked face. But Mike my guy I would adore you no matter what you did or what happened to your face.

Good coffee is always a winner

This was card on poster board written with Father's day sentiments where some words were words of candy attached to card. Nice thoughts on card and Dad alos got extra candy treats

I made a collage of black and white photos of the kids. The photos were taken one gorgeous spring evening when we had ice cream party outside in front yard. Nice memories...the collage turned out beautifully.

Long Blogless Summer

2011-10-22T09:18:00.000-07:00

It has been 3 mos since I last posted! Why? I have no idea why I have dropped out of blogger land. Busy. Felt like there was nothing I wanted to share? Mostly just busy. I think blogging is a habit and once you get out of it...it seems like too much trouble. But i really want this blog to be something to share our lives and something for our children for memories sake.

I hate my blog design now. It looks kinda dark and depressing. First thing I wanna brighten it up. Make it more cheerful. I have of course forgotten everything i so painfully learned about blog design. Until I can re educate myself in blog design and redo it, I will at least post some updates and photos of our summer. It was a full one.

Mmmmm. Maybe I will pay someone to redesign my blog. The amount of hours i would need to relearn all the steps i have to make to do it myself would be better spent elsewhere. Anyone have any recommendations for blog designers...rather cheap and with trendy hip ideas and taste?

Julee

Fun Photo Collage Tool

2011-06-21T09:51:00.000-07:00

I do not know how to "add link"...ya know how bloggers have a subject highlighted and if you click on it you will go to website? It seems beyond me to figure that out right now...but did want to share this fun photo tool...the
Shape Collage...Go to http://www.shapecollage.com/ to see how to download it and have fun with your photos. Her is one from Jarib's birthday cake photos..

Cuteness & Sugar Overload/Jarib's 2nd Birthday

2011-06-21T07:31:00.001-07:00

There is tons of photos on this blog. "Little's" birthdays are so much fun simply must take tons of photos...just want to share the joy with you. If you can hold out to the end there is a surprise. A WONDERFUL blessing for Jarib and the culmination of months of paperwork and dealing with insurance. Praise the Lord!

Judah showing how yummy the frosting is on his tongue

Daddy likes Mommy's cupcakes too

Solomon and Towabech

Miriam and Meseret

Job

Tamar MyHao

Happiness is the biggest ball..

Jarib loves balls. He also still calls everything "round" a ball...like an orange, globe,a Brussel sprout. But real balls are just the best all time toy. They roll, bounce are even mostly squishy and colorful. For Jarib's birthday we bought over a dozen balls of varying size and a small child wading pool to hold them. They a winner!

Any toy for any of the three little boys is a "shared" toy. Stress and screaming reigns unless there is at least three of any given play thing. So, the balls are shared; thrown at windows and each other; played with in pool and bath tub; and at times slept with like a favored "lovey".

The best is last here. A few weeks ago Jarib's new wheelchair was delivered. It is honestly the cutest thing I have ever seen. From the first time Jarib sat in it he knew exactly how to make it work. He can crawl up into chair himself and buckle his sea belt. It has changed his life! He gets ALL over in house. Though the hard wood floors are easier for speed,he does fine moving on the rug. He LOVES playing (speeding around) on the cement and sidewalks outside...though he isn't able to get far in grass. Jarib loves to "dance" to music in his chair and to play the "twirl around" game where he spins the chair faster and faster around in circle. We are so happy for him!

Meseret's May 27th Birthday

2011-06-20T19:03:00.000-07:00

Meseret is such a sweet daughter. She was adopted at age 8 and is now a whopping 14 years old! "Messy" is a great helper and very hard worker at home. She is super social and loves her friends and youth group. Most lovely is she loves the Lord and seeks to follow Him. It shows...Happy 14th Birthday honey!

The after "Happy Birthday" song cheering

Towabech waiting to bless Meseret with the gift she spent many hours making..

Meseret with her beautiful birthday gift scarf from sister. Towabech came from Layla home in Ethiopia with master knitting skills.

Reflections From An Ex Country Girl

2011-05-14T07:56:00.000-07:00

I deeply miss our little farm. I most miss the watching of the sunrise. The eastern sky would flood with orange and pink light as I filled the clothes line with laundry washed the night before. Hanging out damp cold sheets and jeans was somehow made into worship. The world that early in the morning is a most private place. It seemed to be just the Lord and I. Alone, together. I ask Him between clothes pinning the flapping sheets..."What today Lord?"..."Will I hear the answer I've been seeking?... " Him answering in beauty and the still small/large voice..... "Seek ME first" "Rest in ME".." "See Me". Then later at evening...the time after dishes washed and PJs put on washed children...time for sun to set. Yet another glorious light show! Yah! Different in it's lusciousness every day's end. "Good night Lord."... "Thank You for this good and worthy day.".. "You are beautiful"... "You are Glory".. Sigh. Yes. He meets us wherever we are. Yes, His beauty is everywhere. In country, in village, in city. I just so loved the country though. The twenty acres of flat wheat land surrounding us with quiet...and an amazing first class seat everyday to sunrise and sunset. We for good reason became "townies", and said goodbye to the life in the country. It is all good and worth the loss of the front row seats to God's light and shadow show every morning and evening. I do so miss meeting Him though; when the world is LARGE with horizon and it feels like it is just He and I. It was a clarity and truth that I discover harder to "see" in town. I know it must be me. God is still the same "I Am" everywhere. If you live in town and have no sunrise or sunset to see. If you live in city and see little or no nature. If you live in prison and see only concrete. God is still "I Am". I know His beauty is the same when it is easy to see Him surrounding you in nature. I should not grieve the country when I KNOW He is the same here in the city. One really cool thing about God is that we can talk with Him where ever whenever, no matter the circumstances. Thank you God for the precious times I had with You when I was spoiled rotten with wide open space and horizon and quiet and light shows every day. And thank you most of all that You are everywhere and in every thing.

Okay...so I miss country life. You will understand this post better understanding that I am a former country girl who is sad for the loss of livestock and the living in the day by day "circle of life".... Forgive my post devoted to waterfowl. This kinda stuff thrills me...ducks, chicks, the birds showing back up to the feeders out back..

CLARK and MARTI

A few years ago shortly after we moved from "country" to "city" we were visited one early spring day by pair of mallard ducks we named "Clark" and "Marty" after our most ever favorite movie series "Love Comes Softly" and it's main characters...Marti and Clark. This adorable mallard pair now shows up every year soon after Mike opens opens up the pool. I assume it is same ducks? They look the same. We just look out one spring morning and there they are! Marty and Clark frolicking in our freshly opened in ground pool.

The kids and I are always so excited to see them come back. Mike is a bit less excited as he is one to clean the pool.

They aren't too scared of us. At least they don't fly away when I rush outside to take their picture and put some ducky food of bread crumbs or grain in pie plate near the pool. Our dog doesn't even bark at them. He must remember Clark and Marti too.

I have imagined a totally wonderful and touching duck love story. Two mallards who first met as young duck teens. Then a promise made to mate for life. Now, this sweet couple together all these years. They return every year from the south to the same northern town and neighborhood near a river. They visit daily our "cement pond" for some rest and a swim before flying over the fence to whatever weedy spot in a neighbor's yard they have built a nest. Clark standing watch nearby as Marti fluffs and turns to keep her egg duckys-to-be just the right warmth. Then one day a few weeks later they stop coming to visit our pool. I like to imagine they raised their batch of ducklings down near the brush of the river.

~CLARK~

~MARTI~

A few days ago I was outside and saw Mama Marti waddle through the neighbors open gate with ducklings following along behind her at just as a fast a waddle. They were so quick. They were making a beeline for the street. Then before I could weigh trying to herd them into our back yard...they were in street, across street and headed down the 3 blocks to busy busy street. I was still weighing just how mad Mike would be to come home to find duck family (with lots of wet messy duck poo) in his city back yard. I knew it was a "no no". But maybe a duck rescue? Catch them in box and transport to river..? But sadly now they were too far away. Too fast and too far. I couldn't see them anymore walking along the side of street. I just like to think Mama Marti took them into another yard with nice weedy spot to hide...maybe another yard with cement pond? I like to think Marti will be back next spring with Clark. I will pray she takes her ducklings east towards the river rather than west to the busy busy street. Circle of life.

Sabbath and Pancakes

2011-05-14T07:43:00.000-07:00

Even though we attend a Sunday service church now; we still look forward to our Sabbath (Saturday) every weekend. Sabbath is a gift to us. A day of rest. To me that means letting go for a day of the constant multitasking frenzy of my life. From sundown Friday night to sundown Sabbath I can let go of my "hurry". I can let the kids sleep in and play with the littles when they get up at crack of dawn. I can sit on the couch writing posts for my blog without feeling like I should be sorting dirty clothes. Mostly I can focus my thoughts on the Lord. Read His Word. I have the kind of time to spend Mike and the kids that is difficult to arrange the rest of the week. And I can make pancakes for breakfast. I can read a book when the kids nap. Here is a great quote from a book I really want to read. The book is called "King’s Cross: The Story of the World in the Life of Jesus" by Timothy Keller.

<<“When Jesus says, “I am the Lord of the Sabbath, I can give you rest,” Jesus means that He is the Sabbath.

He is the source of the deep rest we need.

He has come to completely change the way we rest.

The one-day-a-week rest we take is just a taste of the deep divine rest we need — and Jesus is its source.”>> Timothy Keller

Isn't this great!?! Jesus/Yeshua is our rest! He is our big, forever peaceful, burden free, un-frenzied rest. Jesus our never stops at any sundown Sabbath.

Getting back to pancakes.....

Sabbath is about the only day I can imagine willingly dosing my children with sugar. It doesn't matter what form the sugar takes...organic pure maple sugar, honey, cheap syrup, Agave...it all has the same effect on my six little boys. First thing you notice is the volume of everything gets turned up. Pretty soon they are all doing gymnastics in the living room. Someone will surely bite someone else. They are happy. They are dancing. They are just super intense about everything after the powerful sugar drugging. Now, sometimes I am more healthy minded mama. "Healthy Minded Mama" only gives her kids pancakes served with unsweetened applesauce. But mostly on Sabbaths I like to live dangerously and give them their pancakes with syrup.

first batch....

Would you deny these faces the pure joy of real maple syrup on their pancakes?

This guy I can still "fool" with a plain bare naked pancake

Happy smiles with second and third helpings

Some folks just hit the sugar crash early. He may be mad someday that I put his fussy whining face on "stillwater" for all to see. But this blog is really a dairy of our family life. And this sad face is a big part of our life now. I love you Job. Your intenseness is all natural...no sugar needed. God will use you in BIG ways I know it!

And then there are those little people who are always ready with a smile... especially on pancake day

Sand Box Boy Joys

2011-05-13T16:27:00.000-07:00

Big Daddy Mike made the sand box over a year ago. ALL the kids love playing in it. Building, sifting, digging for buried treasure. Yes; I know it means sand filled diapers. And yes; it does mean shoes and sand laden socks making the living room a gritty always-needing-swept-pitted-hard-wood-floor. And yes; it means heads of thick dark Ethiopian and African hair and sandy haired Caucasian heads of hair all caked with sand...always needing a shower to rinse out the grit. A-OK...it makes them happy. This digging, building; shifting of earth exercise. It must be wired into them by the Father. Last week I found two little boys...happily, gleefully, digging, shifting sand. Of course that created an impromptu photo opt.

Umm...yes, his shirt is inside out. I told you it was impromptu "boy joys" time.

Goodby Winter!

2011-05-13T13:35:00.000-07:00

It was a long winter. The next 4-5 mos we will swim every day (few baths needed), eat our meals outside (less meal mess inside) and wear saddles (no need to find a dozen pair of socks a day). Summer I love you...

Oh Happy Day!!

2011-05-11T13:13:00.000-07:00

Why is this woman so happy..? It is a landmark. We are DTC!!! (dossier to china)

...a little "giggle juice" to celebrate. Plus...an entire Chinese food feast! Chow main, egg rolls, steamed buns, stir fry..... cake too

DTC!!! Dossier to China~ May 9th 2011

This is Elsie for whom we first got PA (pre approval from China to adopt) All this paperwork and headache has been for you baby....

Elshadday (Elsie) Ping Ping...you are sooo cute!

I wish I was standing at end of this hall to scoop her up when she comes running up to me...

I have shared with all you in blogger land about our waiting daughter-to-be in China Elsie Pingping...but to some it may be a surprise that we are adopting two from China. We have gotten PA (pre approval from China) for a 2nd daughter. Charis Yilin turned two years old the day before we got our PA from China to add her to our adoption of Elsie Ping Ping. These toddlers are friends and sometimes foster sisters. I am not sure why I have waited so long to post about our 2nd daughter-to-be. It felt like such a miracle that CCAA (China) said "yes" to us. So much a miracle it seemed scary to post about it (which is silly). I am just speechless...really!..it seems surreal and like a dream. I could not comprehend that GOD and China and our agency and USCIS (U.S. immigration) and Mike ....would say "yes julee"..."you can bring home and make your own; a 2nd wonderful, amazing, and beautiful little girl from China." We thank the Lord that Elsie PingPing and Charis Yilin can be real live sisters now. So much to share and so little time to type as "littles" nap.....but for now, here she is...

It's a hobbit baby! No not really. But who could not just LOVE this baby?! This is the funniest little bundle of joy I have ever seen in my life.

I have heard she is naughty. Cool beans. That means she has had a chance to be naughty. That she is in a place (foster home) that allows healthy normal toddler behavior. There are good orphanages. But in many orphanages around the world children do not ever have the chance to even be allowed a degree of "naughtiness" or "neediness". We can deal with bad habits once our girls are home. What is harder and sometimes impossible to deal with is serious neglect of child in first few years of life. Thank You Lord that our girls are in foster care being loved and spoiled and feeling like they matter. Keep them safe untill we can bring them home to us.

So cute I can not stand it. I just want to scoop her up and snuggle her neck and never let her go.....

So now we w...a...i...t....wait for LID (logged in date`to china). Then; we will wait for more crazy adoption process steps...will keep you all informed. am sure you are on the edge of your seats by now. Just kidding. Just remember this is BIG stuff to us. Every step in process is a step closer to our baby girls girls. BIG DEAL to us.

Mother's Day 2011 part two

2011-05-11T12:40:00.000-07:00

Around our house every day is a good day for a tea party. Mother's Day is a given-thing-for-sure-to-be a "Tea Party" day.

My Maggie girl...

Anna and Tamar MyHao

Towabech's first Mother's Day in Feser family

Yasab: she knows how to celebrate special days..

Three of our favorite kinds of tea, gluten free chocolate chip cookies, and caramel turtle brownies...candles lite and fresh flowers. Small but simple touches that write a picture and create a memory of love shared and the joy of family.

Yasab got me the biggest most beautiful oregano plant I have ever seen. I adore herb plants. This oregano plant is in flower and smells divine

Ever since the musical greeting cards with funny songs that play when opened..it is a for sure thing that such a card will show up at every major occasion. The "Littles" will laugh and dance to the "card song" every chance they get.

Maggie and Miriam

They so blessed me this special day

Mother's Day 2011

2011-05-11T11:54:00.000-07:00

We have A Mother's Day tradition that is cheap, fun, and meaningful. On Mother's Day we take the kids to a plant nursery to choose a flower for mom. My favorite nursery is "Beaver Bark". I could walk around in there all day long. Time stands still for me once I'm in the doors of that place. They even have a coffee bar..so no reason to ever leave. What they do not have is shopping carts that are child friendly. So off to Fred Meyers we went.

This is my "Mother's Day" gift.The kids all choose a small bedding flower and then we go home and plant them in a whiskey barrel planter. It is perfection. I love to see how it all winds up looking when all the flowers are married into one beautiful bouquet of a garden. Kinda like our family...hence the "meaningful" part of this tradtions

Okay...how long has it been since I mentioned I love this man? I am sure walking around a plant nursery while "littles" choose one of thousands of plants to give to mommy is NOT his idea of a fun Sunday afternoon.

How did Solly know I LOVE Zinnias?!

Everything is an adventure when you are this age. So fun to get to choose a flower for mommy!

It is so pretty looking it must be edible it what Jarib is thinking.,,

I want to see how crowded this is (and lovely in it's abundance)in about a month to 6 weeks from now! I will share photo then...

Planting helpers

My little man Berhanu insisted on a watermelon plant for his choice of flower for mom. I went ahead and planted it in back of barrel. Maybe it will grow out far and wide on cement below?

My Mother's Day Garden 2011

Pesach~ Feast of Passover

2011-05-11T08:53:00.000-07:00

Our Seder meal in photos. Our families most special time of the year. "next year Jerusalem!"

Happy Birthday Yasab!

2011-05-09T15:35:00.000-07:00

Oh darling...can not believe you are 18 years old. I remember so well when Dad and I watched the "waiting child video" from AAI (Adoption Advocates International" and when it came to you, and your sweet face; sick with mumps....not willing to speak a word in your own defense...well...who could have resisted falling in love with you? You were 10 years old at best guess when you came home to us. I know it was hard honey. But you overcame it all. The grief. The culture shock. The PTSS. The horrific abuse of your early life. What happened to you is you fell in love with Jesus. You made Him your everything. He grew you into one of the MOST amazing woman of God I know. I am so excited to see the exciting plans He has for the rest of your life. May He bless you beyond your wildest dreams (He will!) and may you always seek His face first and foremost. We love you sweetie. We feel so grateful and thankful to call you "daughter"

Down Syndrome Adoption: God's Good Gifts

2011-05-02T14:36:00.000-07:00

Almost 15 years ago I felt God tell me that He was going to bless our family with a Down Syndrome child. This was long before my husband Mike and I ever considered adoption. We knew our family was complete. We had no desire for more children and certainly no desire for special needs children. But the thoughts of a Down Syndrome little boy haunted my dreams. I felt compelled to read books about Down Syndrome. I watched crowds for the distinctively sweet faces of those with Down Syndrome. I really thought that I would by some miracle get pregnant again and that would be how God would bring this child to us. I had no idea what amazing plans the Lord really had in store for us.
Mike and I were professing Christians and felt our life was just fine the way it was. Our children were all about grown and out of the house. We were looking forward to early retirement. We were comfortable in our easy all American dream of a life. It was 2000 and it seemed the world was ready for new beginnings. Then…Mike and I felt God draw us out of our lukewarmness. We had called ourselves Christians. We went to church. We tithed. We took our teens to youth group. But God wooed us and created in our heart an ache to know Him better. We began to yearn for a deeper relationship with Him. He drew us out of our comfort zone. He taught us to pray..”Lord, make me radically sold out for You at any cost”. It was scary but exciting too. We thought He was preparing us for some exotic future…like being missionaries in Africa or moving to China. Instead one day He told us He wanted us to adopt a child. It shocked us! We did not want more children. It did not seem like the exciting adventure we thought God was planning for us. The amazing thing is that once we said “yes” it all changed. Once we chose to obey God and do what He said …our hearts changed. Instead of dreading adding an orphan to our “perfect’ family…it became our heart’s desire. God changed our hearts to be totally jazzed up about adoption.
Though we found ourselves happy to be adopting the whole process seemed overwhelming and full of way too many unknowns. We had felt God tell us our daughter-to-be was in China. In January 2001 our dossier went to China asking for “as young as possible healthy baby girl”. Never could we imagine adopting an older child or a child with any special needs. It was hard enough to imagine adopting a young infant who was “healthy”. God in His great patience and wisdom took us through the process to His will….baby step by baby step. During our long wait for a referral from China He lead us to change our request to a toddler age girl with a limb difference. Anna age 2 came home with us from China in December 2001.
Since then we have gone on to adopt many children with special needs. Our children deal with issues like cerebral palsy, hydrocephalous, burn scars, Hep B, HIV+, eye cancer, spina bifida, etc…Our children have been adopted at all different ages from infants to teenagers. When we started adopting I kept looking for that little Down Syndrome boy of my dreams. China did not list or place any children with Down Syndrome then. The countries with waiting orphaned Down syndrome children were not options to us due to country rules about our age or family size. Domestic adoption seemed out of question as birth families usually want younger parents and small families too.
God greatly blessed our family and we grew to include those born in China, South Africa and Ethiopia. I still wanted a baby so badly. I wanted that Down Syndrome baby boy who I had been dreaming of for so long. In March of 2005 I was in Ethiopia to bring home three new adopted older children. One night after spending the day at the orphanage I was crying out to the Lord. I told Him I was sorry for all the pining and begging I had done all these years for that baby boy. After all, God had blessed us with so many wonderful children already. I was ready to lay the dream of that baby boy down before Him. The orphanages were full of so many older kids that would never have a forever family. I vowed to the Lord that night to never again waste another moment grieving for a baby that He wasn’t going to give me. The next day I visited an orphanage where I held a little boy named Solomon with spina bifida. The surgery needed to repair spina bifida was not available then in Ethiopia. As I prayed over little Solomon I heard God tell me that he was our son. After no other families could be found for Solomon our agency started the paperwork for us to adopt him.
Eight months later our newest three were settling into the family and we were waiting for toddler Solomon's adoption to be completed. We expected him home from Ethiopia before Christmas. It was on the morning of October 23rd that I got a surprise phone call. A social worker on the other side of the state had gotten our number from a friend who worked in adoption. The social worker shared the story of birth parents who had made an adoption plan for their unborn baby boy. When he was born that morning with Down Syndrome it surprised everyone. The first adoptive family felt they could not parent him. The birth parents were anxious to find another family quickly. Never in my wildest dreams did I think a birth family would choose us for their baby. We were 47 years old. We already had a large family with eleven children at home then. Still I went ahead and shot a short email off to the social worker with a family photo and our family information. She called me back in half an hour and asked when I could come get the baby?! Because we were already adopting Solomon in Ethiopia we had a current homestudy and background clearances and our agency was able to quickly draft a “domestic homestudy”.
I brought home Jonathan Moses Feser a few days later. He was the dark haired baby boy I had dreamed of for so long. We figured out that he had been conceived about the same time I had been in Ethiopia the last March falling on my face before the Lord. It felt like we had won the lottery!. It felt like we had been given the greatest treasure in the world!. I was a mom who had raised many babies already. I was a mom who was already a grandmother several times over. I was also a mom who never dreamed I would ever have a newborn again. Every night when I was up feeding baby Jonathan I would stare at his face and try to grasp just how and why God had given us this great gift. My heart could not hold the joy I felt that God would love me enough to give me my heart’s desire. Why me? Why us? There is a long waiting list of adoptive parents in the U.S. for Down Syndrome infants. Many other adoptive parents have come to realize the gift it is to have a Down Syndrome child. Sadly the birth rate for Down Syndrome children has drastically fallen. Due to prenatal testing more than 90% of Down Syndrome infants are aborted in the U.S. But here was this precious beautiful baby boy who was saved and given to us. The birth mother had not known she was pregnant until well along in her pregnancy. He was a surprise and a mistake to everyone but his Father in heaven. As I tried to understand why God would do this great thing for us…the only answer I was ever given was that “God loves me”. He is good. He is always good. He gives great gifts because He loves us.
Jonathan was a baby that was held almost every minute of his life. With so many older siblings at home there was always one waiting for a turn to watch the baby. Jonathan had some minor health issues that are not at all uncommon to Down Syndrome infants. He needed extra oxygen when he slept at night for a few months. Because of low muscle tone he tended to have reflux and his formula was thickened and fed with a special bottle. He began physical therapy at a young age. PT and OT helps Down Syndrome children reach milestones earlier than they would without the extra help. Jonathan did not smile, play with toys, or sit up at the same age as a typical child. But he did reach all those developmental milestones; they were just on his own timeline and took a bit longer than the average child. To us he was perfect. I love all my children and am thankful for each of them. Jonathan to me felt like the “sprinkles on the frosting of my cupcake of a life”. I had a great life and wonderful family and was blessed with so many awesome kids....but Jonathan was special to me. Never before had I ever been given a gift like Jonathan that made me feel so cherished by the Almighty.
When Jonathan was 15 mos old he got some small red spots on his tummy. Then he got a lot of red spots. These red dots are called petechiae. They can be an early symptom of leukemia. Children with Down Syndrome have a higher risk of developing leukemia. You can imagine how afraid we were for our little boy. There were lots and lots of tests. We prayed that Jonathan did not have leukemia. He didn’t have leukemia, he had something worse. Jonathan had aplastic anemia. Within a few months he had total bone marrow shutdown. That meant his body made no blood. No red blood to run your body, no white cells to fight infection, no platelets to stop bleeding. Though aplastic anemia is not cancer it is treated in a similar way. Jonathan and I made a new home for ourselves on the pediatric oncology floor of the Children’s Hospital in our state. Jonathan was kept alive through blood transfusions as the doctors tried anything and everything to save his life.
We realized a nightmare had come true…our child was seriously ill. We found ourselves facing the very real fear that our child may die. As we called out to God for strength and wisdom we knew without a doubt that God was in control and that none of this was a surprise to Him. We knew He knew our heart prayer, our “vote” in this situation…. was that Jonathan be healed! But this is how God told us to pray. This is what He had us ask others to pray for. We were supposed to pray for God to be glorified in Jonathan’s life no matter the outcome. The glory of His name came before all else. It was hard sometimes. Jonathan lived another 18 mos. He suffered greatly in those 18 mos where doctors tried anything and everything to save him. Jonathan got an infection a few weeks after a bone marrow transplant. His poor little body had nothing left to fight with. It was awful and horrible in ways that make me hate this world. But you know what? God answered all our prayers. HIS name was lifted up and glorified in powerful ways. God’s love and His goodness were shared with countless people because of Jonathan’s illness. God used Jonathan’s life to bring His good news to many hurting people. God used our family’s pain to spread the joy of adoption and the blessings of children with Down Syndrome. We miss our Jonathan so much and always will. But we have no regrets. Jonathan was a gift from his first day to his last day. I still feel that God sent Jonathan to be the sprinkles on my cupcake of life.
I ask you now..…are you open to all of the gifts God has for you? Are you willing to really be open to Him? with your hands held high cupped to catch the run off of God’s glory and goodness?? He longs to give you good gifts. I know it. But you know what else I think? I think the only way to see those good gifts for what they are is to learn how to look at things more like God sees things. We have to align our vision with His. We have to love what He loves. See the beautiful in the ugly. Find the worth in what the world sees as worthless. See God’s plans in what others call mistakes. When our vision fills with TRUTH and is more aligned with how God sees…then we will find His great Grace and Love gifts flooding our lives till we cannot hold the Joy of Him inside. Be ready to be surprised 

Jonathan age 3 mos with Solomon age 15 mos and just home from Ethiopia

Jonathan about 6 mos

Jonathan a few weeks before his bone marrow transplant

One Way Life Is Measured: Birthdays!

2011-04-06T16:56:00.000-07:00

I LOVE having a big family. So many birthdays and so many great reasons to eat cake! Here is a monster birthday blog to get caught up with family milestones.

Yes...I am 52 wonderful years old. And proud of it. Sort of. For a vain woman there is always a bit of pain with every years worth of wrinkles and gravity induced sagging...but hey the trade off is awesome. Every year, heck every day; I am getting closer to seeing Jesus face to face. So I'll happily hang out here wrinkling up while doing whatever He puts in front of me....just waiting for Him to come get me.

Me: Julee, Wife, Mommy, סבתא Hebrew for grandma and pronounce Savta

Anna: 9th child to join our family and 1st adoption. She was 20 mos when we met her in China. Cutie pie tomboy who would rather eat dirt than wear a dress. Always looking for a spare moment to play DS or kick a soccer ball

Michael: 8th and youngest bio child, now a "man"..sniff sniff. Where did my baby boy go?! Calm and steady like his dad, communicator like his mom...much smarter more talented than either of us. God has BIG plans for you boy*

*Michael was raised till age 10 as a youngest child with six teenage siblings. His brothers called him "boy" and we parents called him "the boy". It was always done in a total loving way...he was the little prince of the family. Then..Michael went from being adored little prince of family to oldest brother of many, many younger siblings after God brought our children through adoption.

Josiah: 11th child and 2nd adoption (along with Maggie) Sweet, sweet, sweet. Adopted at age 13 mos from South Africa. A miracle. All boy. Best friend to Berhanu

Mike: A hero. Married a messed up dirt poor welfare mom with 4+ kids and saved our lives. Steady and sure. A natural born careful leader who steps out of his safety zone to do God's calling. Handsome and kind. Great daddy. Most important...follows God no matter the cost.

My guy Mike who also turned 52...but never lets me forget I did it first and am two months older than him

Mike was happier with his cake backwards showing he was 25 rather than 52. You'll always look 25 to me honey

"Like-Quints"

2011-04-06T10:52:00.000-07:00

Towabech adopted from Ethiopia age 8 in Nov 2010. Josiah and Maggie adopted from South Africa at age 11 mos and 13 mos June 2002. Tamar MyHao adopted from Vietnam at age 5 in Jan. 2007. Berhanu adopted from Ethiopia at age 3 1/2 in March 2005.

In the adoption world there is much discussion and education regarding subjects like:

~~keeping birth order: adopting child younger than other children in home

~~artificial twinning: adopting child to create siblings that are close in age usually under 9 mos difference in age of two children

It is wise to be aware of all the various issues a family may deal with in different adoption situations. There are families that would only consider "keeping birth order" in a new adoption. It certainly may be the easiest and "safest" way to go. Adopting younger than youngest at home enables children to keep their "birth order" within the family. For some families and children this would be very important. Artificial twinning also has it's drawbacks. You may adopt two at once who are close to the same age or you might adopt a new child same age as child already at home. "Like Twins" can adjust smoothly and it is even helpful for some kids to join a new family along with another child at same time...kinda like a comrade going through same thing as you. Sometimes though it is very challenging to create "twins" that wind up both feeling short changed by their parents. It is hard to meet meet the needs of multiple new children. Newly adopted children are notoriously needy. A parent can wind up feeling that they are failing their new adopted children as well as the rest of their family. When you explore the idea of adopting out of birth order or "like twinning" during your homestudy your social worker should be able to go over all the pros and cons with you. They should be the experts. I have found it very helpful when faced with an adoption situation we have not dealt with before; to seek out other adoptive families and ask about their experiences. Some adoption agencies do not allow these disrupting birth order or "like twinning". Some agencies are not supportive of adopting two unrelated children at the same time. That should be something you look into before signing with an agency.

As for our family...we never set out to create these situations where we adopted out of birth order or created siblings that were the same age or very close to the same age. It is just how it all worked out. God has in His great goodness and wisdom lead us to each and every one of our children. They have all been a perfect fit. Not always easy. Not the "safest" way to go. Not wise choices in the "world's" thinking. But perfect all the same.

Above is a picture of our "like quints". Five Feser kids that are all 9 years old. I think this picture shows them to be just as different as can be. There really is no such thing as "like twins". Real twins shared a womb. They share genetics. Our 9 year olds are at completely different levels of development. Different sizes, differ ant personalities and behavior. Our five 9 year olds are doing school work in four different grade levels. My point in all this, is that I don't think adoptive parents have to get hung up on the age of a child. It really is just so hard to even tell much about a new adopted child before they get home. You might get orphanage reports that state developmental levels etc... But really you just can not know how it will all play out within your family before that new child comes home AND has several months at home. I would have to say that it has taken at least 6 months and more often a year before new kids settle into a family and for the rest of family to adjust to new child. The exception to this is a newborn adoption...their adjustment goes much easier. With newborns though it is nice to remember that the new mommy may take a year to "adjust" (feel normal) as it might take at least a year to get a good nights sleep.

I love my 9 year olds by the way. It is such a great golden age those years when children are about age 8 to 11 or 12 (depending on when the hormone storms start) They are not little kids...but not big kids either. Mostly they are still so moldable and holdable... and they like their parents! They suck up hugs and kisses still and love nothing more than time with mommy or daddy. There is great stuff about every age of childhood. Oh Lord that I can choose to love every stage of this adventure of parenting. May I keep my eyes open to the great gifts You bring me wrapped up in the wonder of childhood. And Father keep showing me how to love my children like you love me. I am such a slow learner in the lessons of "true love". Thank you for each day's new beginnings and opportunities to try too love others Your way.

Happy Birthday Tamar Myhao!

2011-02-07T03:32:00.000-08:00

I am going to let the pictures do the talking. Myhao is so dramatic her face can tell a 1000 stories...and do it better than any words I could write. Happy Birthday sweetheart! you have been home with us from Vietnam for fours years now. My how you have grown up!

Happy Birthday Berhanu and Divine Appointment

2011-02-01T06:16:00.000-08:00

So Berhanu had another birthday....only five months after his last birthday. Are you are wondering how that is possible? Well, there was quite a lot of confusion about how old Berhanu was at his adoption in March 2005. He seemed the size of three year old, but acted developmentally older. We went back and forth...is he 3? 4? almost 5? When he turned six (or so we thought) he still had no signs of losing any baby teeth and his body was not that of a six year old...so we had him turn six again the nest year. This past August he turned eight years old and that is what his U.S. birth certificate says. Then in November when Mike and Yasab traveled to Ethiopia to bring home Towabech...they met Berhanu's birth mom! This was a miracle for sure. Mike and Yasab visited Kidane Mehret (KM) the orphanage where several of our children came from. The Sisters who run KM were overjoyed to see Mike and see Yasab all grown up and beautiful. As they were hugging and sharing cheek kisses..... an Sister L. asked Mike if they wanted to meet Berhanu's birth mom?! At Berhanu's adoption I had searched and searched for any information about Berhnau's birth parents . I admit we gave up on ever finding them. Now here was Sister L. telling Mike that Berhanu's birth mother was named Tigist. And she worked near by KM and had shown up recently asking for any news of Berhanu! The Sisters sent someone to tell her that Mike and Yasab were there at KM. Soon Tigist was running up the KM steps to meet them! It was amazing. Not only did God work out the timing for Mike and Yasab to visit KM when the Sisters were there, and the Sister who knew where Tigist was could send for Tigist so Mike and Yasab were able to to be able to meet her.... God also worked out many other details to answer many many of His children's prayers. Yasab who was adopted in January 2004 at age 10 is now almost 18. She lost her ability to speak and understand Amharic after she was adopted by us. Yasab had prayed to be able to understand more Amharic on her trip back to Ethiopia with Mike. God gave ALL her Amharic back to her! She feels it was especially for Tigist....Berhanus' birth mother. You see this lovely woman Tigist is a devote Christian. She loves and trusts God and has prayed for this day when she could find Berhnanu's adoptive family. She and Berhanu's birth father loved baby Berhanu very much. After he was diagnosed with eye cancer they did everything possible for him. He had the surgery to remove his eye. But they had no more money to pay for the chemo. At some point Tigist became a single mom. His family made the very difficult decision to place him at KM. KM was able to provide for him to get the 5 courses of chemo he needed for his rentinoblastoma. Tisgist had prayed and prayed that he would survive his cancer and that someday he would be adopted and have a new family that would love him like she did. Tigist continued day by day and through the years to pray for her child Berhanu. Her prayers were not only for a Christian family for him but also that God would somehow get word back to her that her little boy was okay. She knew that it was a long shot she would ever have any contact with his adoptive family but she asked God for that as a special "personal" request. So I will tell you that Mike and Yasab could share with me that Tigist is EXACTLY like Berhanu. Not only does she look exactly like him she acts exactly like him. Guess his ADHD hyperactive behavior is not caused from all his chemo as we thought! Tigist is constantly moving and talking a mile a minute! Maybe she knew time was short with Yasab and Mike and she needed to make sure to relay all the information possible to them before they left. She shared amazing things. Things that will be ever so precious to Berhanu about his life before he came to us. Yasab, with her God given fluency in Amharic was able to understand and translate it all for Mike. When they walked Tigist back to her work they made plans to meet the next day for lunch. The next day they met for hours talking and getting to know each other. When Yasab shares about that time she still can not speak of it without choking up from the joy of how God answered this woman's prayers. Both Mike and Yasab know this trip and chance meeting was not for them or ever Berhanu, but for Tigist....this young woman who LOVES the Lord and trusted Him to save her baby. God gave Tigist hours with Berhanu's new family where she could learn all about him and be assured his family they were also believers and that Berhanu was being raised to love and serve God. One cool thing was that I had created a nice photo album for Mike to give the Sisters at KM with pics of our kids who came from KM. Many of those photos were of Berhanu. Mike gave that album to Tigist. We will continue to send her photos and letters from Berhanu. I know that in the next few years we will be taking Berhanu back to visit her (along with our other Ethiopian kids old enough for that kind of trip) I just LOVE when things happen to show me just how much God adores His children to answer prayers. She didn't "need" to meet our family face to face...but God worked it out because he loves her so much. Just because He is that kind of awesome God....in charge of making dreams come true and working out all the details.

You wonder how this ties into a "Birthday" post? Tigist also told Mike and Yasab Berhanu's real birthday. She was super clear, no doubts about it, no confusion over Ethiopian/American calender. Berhanu's birthday in January 19th and he turned 9 years old. This is also the same day as the birthday of one of his favorite sister's Haiminot age 20. So Berhanu had another birthday five months after his last one this past August. We will have to go to court to get it changed on birth certificate. That is just one of those minor details to add to my list of things it takes me years to accomplish..

And the BIG reason for this post...Happy Happy 9th Birthday Berhanu! You are a wonderfully sweet and brilliant son Berhanu and I am so thrilled I get to be your mom!

Miriam Turned 11 years old!

2011-01-19T20:36:00.000-08:00

A few days ago on January 14th Miriam turned 11 years old! She chose for her breakfast food Fried Rice and for her birthday dinner Chinese. We had egg rolls and dumplings from Costco. The red velvet cake is also from Costco. Costco is a busy mom's best friend. Miriam got her wished for MP3 player and the clothes from Target she had picked out herself. Daddy also took Miriam, Anna and Meseret out to eat the next day at the Golden Palace for more Chinese food.

Here is Miriam with her daddy...the first love of her life.

Here is the picture of 2 1/2 Miriam Qiao Xian when we first ever saw her face. This was her photo from our agencies waiting child list from China. As soon as we saw her sweet serious little face we knew she was meant to be our daughter. It took almost a year to get her home.

Here is Miriam with Anna a few days after Miriam came home from China in fall of 2003. They were pointing at the map where their new sisters Mulu and Yasab from Ethiopia were waiting to come home to our family. This was back in the days when Anna and Miriam still let me dress them in matching outfits. Now their own individual personalities shine through too strongly to wear the same style clothing.

Miriam's birthday was a few days ago. 11 years old looks like still a little girl when you write it out. 11 years old sounds still like a little girl when you say it out loud. But when you look at 11 year old Miriam she doesn't look like or sound like a little girl. She is for sure a young lady. Of course I think she was born "mature". Always so responsible for her age. Always stepping forward to take care care of others. So much so that her nick name for years was "mommy two". Meaning she acted like the the "mom" of the family. I just adore her. I just adore that she has such a huge heart for serving others. So much sometimes that we have to keep reminding her to let others do for themselves. She is a beauty too. Inside and out. Happy Birthday Darling. You are this mom's dream daughter. Loving. Kind. Always ready to lend a hand or a hug when needed. I love you honey. If you are this great at 11 years I know you will "wow" us all at 12, 13, .... 14 years old... Sigh...time will fly but I can still hold you in my lap today.

2010 Year of Pictures:November

2011-01-18T21:17:00.000-08:00

2010- November/Thanksgiving

2011-01-18T19:02:00.000-08:00

2010 Year In Pictures -December

2011-01-18T18:12:00.000-08:00

2010 in pictures NEWEST news first!

2011-01-18T12:42:00.000-08:00

A few years ago in a far away land called China a precious Baby Girl was born. She was a teeny tiny baby when she was brought to a home as big as a castle to live. At this home called an orphanage there were lots of nannies and other helpers that took care of this Baby Girl.

Because Baby Girl was born with Down syndrome some Nice People from far away in America thought it would be good for Baby Girl to live with a special family called a Foster Family. Nice people in America and other Nice People in China worked very hard for Baby Girl to be able to live with the Foster Family.

Baby Girl loved being with Foster Family. She learned all the things a Baby Girl can do even though this Baby Girl liked to learn them a little slower. She ate like any baby, slept like any baby, and learned to giggle and coo like any baby.

Baby Girl even had a foster sister and foster brother to play with. There was toys for the children and food to eat. Baby Girl was happy. The only thing baby Girl did not have was her very own Mommy and Daddy. Every Baby Girl needs their very own Mommy to rock them and hug them and kiss their toes and tummy. Every Baby Girl needs their very own Daddy to take them on walks and show them amazing things that will make her laugh. Every Baby Girl needs a Mommy and Daddy to teach them about God and how much He loves Baby Girl.

When Baby Girl was working hard growing up in China...in America a Mommy and Daddy were asking God if He would send them a special Baby Girl. The Nice People in America and Nice People in China who had helped Baby Girl told this Mommy and Daddy about how wonderful and beautiful Baby Girl was. In China there are Important People who help the children who need their very own family. The Mommy and Daddy asked the Important People in China if Baby Girl could be their very own Baby Girl. The Mommy and Daddy prayed and waited for the important answer. The Important People said "YES"!!. Mommy and Daddy were going to have their Baby Girl and Baby Girl was going to have her very own Mommy and Daddy plus lots of brothers and sisters.

When Mommy and Daddy got their big "Yes" from Important People in China..they also got new pictures of Baby Girl. Mommy and Daddy were so excited to see how Baby Girl has grown and how happy she looks.

Mommy and Daddy are doing all the jobs they have to do and getting things that Important People need before Baby Girl can come home. Mommy and Daddy and all the brothers and sisters pray to God every day that Baby Girl is healthy and happy. They also thank God every day for Baby Girl and that she will be home soon.

Mommy and Daddy wanted Baby Girl to have a name chosen just for her. They thought and thought for a special name. It took a long time to know just what was the perfect name for Baby Girl. When Daddy and sister were in Ethiopia they met a little girl they loved named "Elshaddaye". Elshaddaye is an Ethiopian-Amharic for the name of God "El Shadday". It means "God Almighty". For a special name from China they chose "Ping" which means "peace". It was the perfect name for Baby Girl. But those names all together are a long name to say and a long name for a girl to learn to write...so Mommy and Daddy say Baby Girl will be called "Elsie" for short. "Elsie Ping Ping" .

New photo of baby girl!!

January 3, 2011

Elsie PingPing Feser

Our new daughter Towabech

2010-11-13T05:10:00.000-08:00

Here she is...isn't she beautiful? Towabech is a nine year old darling girl that we've been waiting to bring home from Ethiopia. She is now with her new Daddy Mike and new sister Yasab in Addis Ababa. The U.S. embassy appointment is next Wednesday. If all goes as planned Towabech will have her visa on Friday and the three of them will fly home next Friday night. They will be here a week from today! Here is an earlier photo of her last winter after she found out she had a family...

I love this picture of her swimming at the Hilton on an orphanage field trip. She looks delighted to be in the water. She is post polio and her legs do not function well...Being in the water is something she loves! It give her more freedom of movement. I'm so glad God gave us a home with a nice in ground swimming pool. I just know Towabech will become a "fish" next summer just like the other kids. Once our hot tub is fixed it will be great therapy for her just like it is for Maggie with her CP.

Here I am with my brand new daughter! This was taken last month when Mike, Jarib and I traveled to Ethiopia for the court date for adoption. I just can not wait to love on this girl!

Here is her proud Daddy with her...

Soon we will all be together again and Towabech can get to know the rest of her family. What an amazing Thanksgiving celebration we'll have!

Happy Anniversary~Family Day

2010-11-11T15:30:00.000-08:00

Tuesday November 9th was Mike and my 20th wedding anniversary. If you read my previous post you heard about the surprise super duper camera he bought as an anniversary gift. On Tuesday night he came home early from work to finish packing to leave for Ethiopia the next morning. I'd found a prime rib hiding in the freezer to make for dinner and also served giant Costco baked potatoes with all the extras added. The kidlets tummies were huge and bloated with beef when dinner was done. Those guys are all such carnivores. After the kids went to bed Mike and I opened a small bottle of champagne and got to visit just the two of us for about an hour. Not the most romantic anniversary that ever happened...but still a pleasure. I will always remember it as the anniversary that Mike left early the next morning to bring me home a child. As far as I am concerned there is nothing hotter than a man who travels around the world to bring me a new "baby".

As we celebrated our wedding anniversary we were really celebrating our "Family Day". That day twenty years ago Mike and I became a family. At our wedding there were also six children...Mike's two daughters and my four children. But even if we had been childless then, that was the day our family was formed. Mike and I and the Lord ARE the family. The children we had when we married and those we have added since then...are all welcomed members of our family....but Mike and I would be "family" with or without children. And we would NOT be family or anything for that matter without the Lord. I can say with 100% surety that if the Lord was not a member of our marriage...we would not be married. Most likely would never have been married.....but for sure we would not still be married. Mike is an amazing wonderful man but he is just as flawed a human being as I am. When things are going great...there is the Lord showing us it is Him who is blessing us. When things are going horribly , there is God ever ready..showing us grace and mercy. Teaching us about "do overs". In laughter and in sorrow it really always is about Him. All of it. Even when things are so stressful that both Mike and I could just about explode into a million angry pieces...There is our Father..wooing us from the side lines.."Do it My way" "show love" "show patience" "seek peace" "forgive" "Don't give up!" and like always.. "Just lean on Me". So Mike honey...I miss you so badly now when you are half a world away. You are my hero always and forever. Thank you sweetheart for your patience with me all these years. Thank you taking such good care of all of us and being such a good leader. Thank you for making me feel like the prettiest girl at a party. Thank you most of all for loving God and choosing every day to follow Him..on the easy paths and the hard, hard roads. It's all been a grand adventure and there is no one else I'd want to share it with.

Shiny New Things

2010-11-07T15:51:00.000-08:00

I have always referred to myself as a high maintenance kind of gal. When I say this it is referring to my need to be coddled and "held up" in my frequent super charged emotional times (which happens to me a lot). Mike is very good with me. I get too passionate about stuff sometimes and just so blooming dramatic that it takes a level head to remind me everything is okay. Mike (my level headed better half) reminds me:

#1) the sun will come up tomorrow
#2) I am not responsible for everyone's happiness
#3) in our marriage we have endless "do overs" when one of us screws up #4) I can not save every child...
and most important ...
#5) God's grace in big enough to cover our mistakes and He is still on His throne!

In other ways I am not so needy. Don't need expensive clothes or makeup. Don't need birthday and anniversary gifts. Don't need to be surprised with flowers or dinner out. I really don't even need my husband to talk to me when he gets home from work with his daily alloted words already used up.

I do though have a "love language". It involves small shiny things...and I don't mean jewelry. Mike bought me an IPOD nano after Jonathan died so I could listen to praise music on my walks along the river. It was so cool. Soon I wanted a bigger one. Mike then bought me a superduper IPOD which holds more music than I could ever possibly listen too plus tons of T.V. and movies. I love it.

Then there is my phone. I have gone from a Blackberry (now Tigist's) to a G1 (dropped in the pool), and now have this little beauty below. The Samsung Vibrant is called a smart phone but you don't even have to be smart to use it. Who would have ever thought a phone could do so many things?
Mike really is a thrifty guy. If I tell him I want something like a new phone...he always says no, can't afford that. When I tell him the kids need new shoes...he says no, that will have to wait. You get the idea. He automatically says no to spending money. But everyone's needs always get met in the right time. And when he has the money for something he knows I want he gets it for me. And I am always surprised. Really. I think sometimes Mike waits to buy me a longed for item. I think he waits for one of those hard days that I really need something special to give me a lift.

This came a few weeks ago after a rough week. A pretty new home for my IPOD with excellent speakers. Now we can all listen to the great music collection and also watch the videos on the TV that is wired to the stereo too
And sometimes BIGGER is better. Since I like shiny little things my cameras have always been slick slim small ones that slide into my pocket. But I have been disappointed with the quality of photos. Lately I have just been using my phone for picture taking. I have for years admired the photography of some of my fellow blogger moms (and you know who you are). They cart around these huge cameras with long lenses that look so cumbersome. But oh my! what gorgeous photos those moms post on their blogs and facebook. I have dreamed and dreamed of someday taking those kind of photos for my family. But getting a camera like that seemed way out of reach financially. I just kept dreaming.

Mike and I celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary on Tuesday. He has no days off to celebrate it with a date night and he leaves Wednesday for 10 days in Ethiopia. But he sure made it up to me. We took the littles to Costco for lunch last Wednesday and we walked out with this!!! Happy Anniversary!

I am the proud new owner of a Nikon 5000D with all the goodies. Sometimes bigger is better and I don't think this will ever feel cumbersome. I am so spoiled.

I know happiness never comes from "stuff". But new stuff sure can be fun! Here's to many happy years of amazing photos of my beautiful children and grandchildren and even some of my handsome loving generous husband.

I miss the peeps!

2010-11-07T06:31:00.000-08:00

Our son Jake and his wife Holly came for a visit last week with their three darling children. Holly is a avid photographer...I grabbed some of Holly's photos off her blog of the little "peeps" Silas age 5, Lauren age 3 and Claire just turned 1. Aren't they beautiful?!

We had such a great visit with Jake, Holly and their kids when they came. Not only is she a great photographer, Holly is also a talented blogger and she wrote an entertaining post about their visit last week. I HIGHLY suggest you check it out. Holly tried to teach me how to add a hyperlink to a name...if I remembered it right then you should be able to get to her blog post by clicking in her name.

Jake and Holly are about my most favorite grownups (along side our other adult kids of course) and the "grandblessings" make getting older worth it. You have to get older to get grand kids right? All those wrinkles, achy knees and gray hairs seem just a slight irritation compared to the pure joy of a grandchild's neck hug and sweet sticky kiss.

Family introduction

2010-10-30T19:17:00.000-07:00

Our Family Introduction (just in case anyone is interested)
Mike and I knew each other in high school but never really got to know each other or hung with the same crowd.....I do remember thinking about him in high school a lot and even having dreams about him. Both of us became parents while teens (with other people) and so were were busy growing up fast back in those days. After high school we pretty much forgot all about each other.
Ten years later I found myself a divorced welfare mom with 4 young children. My youngest child a baby girl named Gayge had died of SIDS and I was still in middle of the recovery from that. One day I forced myself to go to a church singles/social group and who should walk in but Mike Feser! Mike worked at a nuclear power plant and was also divorced and dad to two girls a bit older than my kids. He looked so handsome....sigh. My heart still flutters to think of that night when we saw each other in that church lobby. We remembered one another instantly and could not keep our eyes of each other. We became instantly twitterpated....just like Bambi and Faylene in the movie. That was it...ever since then we've been inseparable. We were married almost twenty years ago. What an adventure God had in store for us!

We started out married life with the six kids between us and within a year we had added a bio baby boy. Seven kids was a lot to us and everyone else we knew, and we KNEW our family was complete.

Mike and I considered ourself Christians and we were. But after we'd been married about ten years God starting working on our hearts and began to call us out of our "lukewarmness". It was an exciting time and we had no idea what plans God had for our lives ....but I was sure it was something exciting. The main thing was that the Lord had brought us to a place where we were ready to do whatever he said. What he told us to do was a BIG surprise.

When we first felt the Lord prompt us about adoption I was thinking it was a big misunderstanding. Mike was SURE it was a misunderstanding. After all we already had seven children, most all of them about grown up. We had no desire to have any more. Early retirement and life spent enjoying grandchildren and our golden years sounded really good. But God spoke very clearly to us that we were suppose to adopt a baby girl from China. It was only after we agreed to do what He said did we get jazzed up about the idea. So it began....

We were such adoption virgins then that we were scared about everything. How could we get the money to adopt a child let alone pass a homestudy with our backgrounds???! Would we ever be able to love an adopted child like a birth child?? What if our adopted child had something "wrong" with them like they were sick or had brain damage? What is they had been abused??! Oh goodness what if we were referred a toddler and not a baby? How could we "bond" with an older child? So many fears and doubts. But our Father was infinitely gentle and kind. He took us baby step by baby step. When we opened our hearts and ears to what He wanted us to do...what He told us to do....then we found He made it our heart's desire. He calmed our fears and gave us faith....abundantly. Even when He told us to do things that were scary, out of our comfort zone to say the least....He was holding us...giving us what we needed at that moment. What a beautiful thing to be able to "rest in Him"!

December 2001 we found ourselves in China adopting Anna 20 mos old with minor amputee issues. Six months later we were in South Africa adopting Josiah 14 mos with mild CP and Maggie 11 mos with CP, and a VP shunt. Next in August 2003 came Miriam almost 4 years old from China with limb difference. Mulu age 14 and Yasab age 10 came home from Ethiopia in January 2004. A year later in April 2005 we brought home their friends Tigist age 12 and Meseret age 8 long waiting bio sisters at Layla. With the girls we adopted unrelated Berhanu age 3 with retinoblastmo (eye cancer). That next October (2005) we got a surprise phone call about a newly born baby boy in our state with Down Syndrome. That was our sweet Jonathan. Solomon came home from Ethiopia at Christmas a few months later at age 15 mos with spina bifida. 2005 was the year we moved from our farm back to town and adopted 5 kids. Busy! In June of 2006 we adopted 15 year old Roza from Ethiopia who needed a new family. A few months later 15 year old Haiminot from Ethiopia joined the family as she also needed a new family. Mike traveled in early 2007 for then 5 year old Tamar MyHao from Vietnam. She is "chromosonally enhanced" (Down Syndrome) like Jonathan was. In spring of 2009 we got another "surprise" our newborn baby boy Jarib from Alabama with spina bifida. Our next adoptions happened in this past year. Two little boys from Ethiopia, Judah Gezehegn age 4 with Down Syndrome came home in last October (2009), and Job Assefa age 18 mos (HIV) came home in February. Mike leaves for Ethiopia October 10th to go pick up our new daughter Towabech age 9 (post polio).

Of course our children are not defined by any sort of special needs. We really rarely ever think about who has what medical issue and whose history includes whatever. There are some things that our kids came with like Hep B, burn scars or major abuse background that are too private to share. The only reason I share their special needs here is this...to show how God worked on the hearts of a couple that was initially so frightened of adopting and so against adopting kids that had special needs. Isn't is amazing?! Mike and I have seen so many miracles and heelings in our children. But the truly amazing miracles are that of a changed heart and new life.

We live in an average size house (2500 sq feet or so) and Mike has a average income. We are normal flawed people who struggle to be a decent spouse to each other and good parents to our kids. I think all our kids are awesome but they are normal...not perfect by any means. We get tired and discouraged at times. We need each other so when one is struggling the other can boost the needy one up ( I must be honest here and say it is usually me Julee who needs Mike's level head to hold me up). But we love each other passionately. More importantly we love God with joyful deep abandon and an unfailing trust He has taught us through our mountain top experiences and the deep dark valleys we have walked. We are ordinary people whom God has extraordinarily blessed. All because we choose to do what He said and let Him be the boss. This is a concept that is not a one time choice and "that is it and a done deal!" kind of thing. It is something we have to struggle with, muck through, and pray for all the time. But we find living life in God's will is the very best this world has to offer. Total fulfillment. Total peace. Feeling like we are living and breathing exactly what we were made to do.

So for those keeping track and who care about such things.. here are the facts:
~Mike and Julee both age 51 big ole years old and married 20 years
Blessed with 26 precious children:
~Dalaina (bio) who is Safeway manager age 34 married to Rob and mommy to Skylar and Robert
~Lindsay (bio)who is Starbucks manager age 33 married to Sean in Colorado ~ Cody (bio) age 32 sous chef and talented musician in Maine
~ Tasha (bio) age 29 wonderful mommy to Maryn age 13 in Portland.
~Jake (bio) age 27 business owner and city councilman in Oregon, husband to Holly and daddy to Silas, Lauren and Claire
~Kayla (bio) age 25 CNA and big sister extraordinaire
~ Mulu Hope (Ethiopian) age 20+ model and medical assistant in Seattle adopted at age 14
~Haiminot "Haimi" (Ethiopian) age 20 medical assistant and mommy to sweet baby girl Makeda, adopted at age 15
~Roza (Ethiopian) age 19 dental assistant in Everett and expectant mommy to baby girl due in Dec 2010 adopted at age 15
~ Michael (bio) age 19 Safeway checker and collage student for English degree
~Tigist (Ethiopian) age 18, 11th grade high school student who wants to be a doctor adopted at age 12
~Yasab (Ethiopian) age 17, homeschool 10th grade high schooler adopted at age 10
~Meseret (Ethiopian) age 13, 7th grade homeschool junior higher adopted at age 8
~Miriam (Chinese) age 10 and 5th grade homeschooler adopted at age 3 1/2 years
~Anna (Chinese) age 10 and 5th grader adopted at age 20mos.
~Josiah (Zulu-South African) age 9 and 3rd grade homeschooler adopted at age 14 mos
~Magdalene "Maggie" (Xhosa-South African) age 9 and 3rd grader adopted at age 11 mos
~Berhanu (Ethiopian) age 8 and 2nd grade homeschooler and adopted at age 3 yrs
~Tamar MyHao (Vietnamese) age 8 and 2nd grader adopted at age 5
~Solomon (Ethiopian) age 6 and Kindergartner adopted at age 15 mos
~Judah (Ethiopian) age 5 Pre-K and adopted at age 4 years
~Job (Ethiopian) age 2 and adopted at age 18 mos
~Jarib (from Alabama) age 17 mos adopted at birth
~Gayge (bio) with us her earthly life from 8/4/88-12/17/88
~Jonathan adopted at birth. With us here for his life from 10/23/05-4/3/08
~ newest daughter Towabech age 9 due home soon from Ethiopia!!!
Are you caught up with us now? Good. It never lasts for long. Our life and family is always changing praise the Lord!

Happy Birthday 5th Judah Gezehegn!

2010-10-28T03:56:00.000-07:00

Judah turned 5 years old last Sunday. And yes his birthday is the day after Jonathan's. Kinda cool and like a kiss from heaven when we were given the birth day his birth mom gave when he was left at the orphanage when he was nine months old. Below is the photo that was the first time we ever saw his face. Mike and I took a visit trip/2nd honeymoon to Ethiopia in October 2008. The morning before we left I got this photo from a friend at Gladney Adoption Agency about this little Down Syndrome toddler that was in their orphanage in Addis. We visited "Gezi" several times during our time in Ethiopia. We fell madly in love with him and vowed to bring him home to become a "Feser". We are so thankful that AAI and Gladney worked together to make it possible for us to adopt Judah Gezehegn and baby Job Assefa together.

I was super blessed to be able to make several visit trips to Ethiopia during the adoption "wait" for Judah and Job. This photo was taken on one of the trips is AAI's "Wanna" the baby toddler section of their home in Addis. It was so hard to leave Judah each visit. Job was so very loved and adored at AHOPE that he really didn't ever seem to care when or if I came or when I left. Judah was MUCH harder to leave. He was sickly and always seem t0 grieve when I had to leave. It was agonizing.

This photo was on the trip that I got to bring Judah home in October 2009! He passed court before Job so I had to wait until February to go back to get Job. But here is first time Judah and Job met at AHOPE where Job lived.

When Judah came home unbeknown to everyone Judah was very ill with active TB. It was good thing no one knew before he came home! If he had tested TB + in Ethiopia we would not have been able to get his visa for a long time. And he may have not lived to make it home. Once home and diagnosed he was put on four very awful drugs to treat the TB. It was a long 10-11 mos dealing with the side effects of medicine used to cure his TB. He finally was done with the meds the last day of July this summer. Since then he has thrived and is super happy and healthy. Here is is in August playing with the Tonka trucks that are the most favorite of little boy toys at our house.

Taken last Sunday October 24th, 2009...turning 5 was a great day!
Happy, Happy Birthday big guy. We love and adore you and are sooooo blessed to have you in our family!

No Premature Deaths

2010-10-23T14:42:00.000-07:00

There are no premature deaths. Really. I know this because I believe what God says in His word.

"All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalms 139:16

I believe that means He knows our "birth" day to our "death" day. Just like He knows the day our real life begins in eternity.

Not only does God know every day of our whole life but He knows us intimately from our first second of life. In the same Psalm He says..

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. Praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body."

Psalms 139:13-15

I believe we are created without mistake or flaw....fearfully and wonderfully made. Jonathan was wonderfully made including his special extra chromosome that makes a person Down Syndrome. I also know that God knew Jonathan's bone marrow would one day stop working. He knew that our precious little boy would die a long horrible and painful death from aplastic anemia. Do I know why? No. There is much I do not know or understand. But I do not have to understand all that because of the things I do know. I know God. I know God is good and only good and that He makes no mistakes. I know that when we suffer and are in pain He is right there with us...leading us through it and closer to Him.

Today was a day of happy and sad memories. Jonathan would have been five years old today if he had lived. I also realized he has been gone just about as long as we had him with us. He died about 2 1/2 years ago at about age 2 1/2 years.

October 23rd 2005..."the first time ever I saw your face"

A dream come true....our sweet baby boy. What a miracle and a surprise from God!

October 23rd 2006 Jonathan's 1st birthday...

October 23rd 2007 He'd been diagnosed with aplastic anemia 6 mos before and we were so thankful he had survived to his 2nd birthday. A day of celebration and praying for the transplant and healing to happen soon.

These photos were taken while Jonathan and I were living at the Ronald McDonald House waiting for transplant. This was about one of the last times I remember him having a day without pain. He was dead a few months later.

I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living ...

my baby you'll be.

Job Assefa

2010-10-21T12:22:00.000-07:00

I never shared about our newest "blessing" that joined the Feser family. We started the process to adopt Job in June 2008 just a few months after Jonathan died. We found out about tiny baby Assefa August 4th 2008 and received the official referral a few weeks later. Here is a photo of him a friend took when he was about a month old. The name Assefa means "God has multiplied/blessed our family" and Job means "flourishing through affliction"

Mike and I traveled to Ethiopia to visit Job (and have a 2nd honeymoon.) Here is Job at age 2 months when we first met him face to face. I was able to visit him in Ethiopia several more times before his adoption was finalized in Ethiopian court and I could bring him home.

Job was much adored and loved at "little AHOPE" in Addis Ababa in Ethiopia. He had the same caregivers from the time he was a few weeks old till I brought him to the U.S. to join our family. Here he is at 18 months at his going away party at AHOPE. It was hard for him and I and harder still for his beloved nannies that had to say goodbye to him. Many tears were shed that day. We thank God for the loving care he received at AHOPE and know he was well loved there. I brought him home (finally) in February. A long long wait that was well worth it!

Here is Job today at home. He turned two years on July 4th. He is a smart little boy and learning new things at lighting speed. Like lots of brilliant kids I know he tends toward the naughty side of things. We love him just gobs and gobs. He is doing so well and is very healthy in spite of his "special need".

Here is our three "baby" boys that God brought home to us in about a year's worth of time. We are so rich and greatly blessed.

Judah almost 5 years old. Job almost 2 years and Jarib age 16 mos. Enjoying the last week or two of glorious sunny weather this fall of 2010

Starting Over....

2010-10-21T10:30:00.000-07:00

How do I come back after being away so long? Honestly when I last wrote a blog post over a year ago I never dreamed I would disappear and become a "dead beat blogger". Every time I have thought to get back to blogging again... I just never know where to start? how to cover the past year's events? There really is no way to play catch up. I just need a "do over"; a new beginning. So that is what I will do. I won't try to fill in all the blanks of the last year but will just jump into the here and now. Lots of adoptive moms blog in order to be a advocate for adoption and too encourage others going through similar experiences. Those are great reasons but they are not my reasons for blogging. I need it. I need the outlet and the "voice". It is therapy. Grownup talk. I'm a girl that has a high need to share what's on my heart, what I care about. So here goes...

"Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16

His door is always open to His children. He's never too busy, too tired, or too impatient to welcome us into His glorious presence.

No Longer MIA

2009-09-20T13:57:00.000-07:00

I'm back and no longer "Missing In Action". I leave in one hour for the airport. Pasco-Seattle-WA DC- Addis Ababa Ethiopia! Finally Judah Gezehegn is coming home. It is a short trip for me, just 3 1/2 days in Addis and gone a total of only 7 days. I am so excited to get Judah Gezehegn in my arms and be able to visit Assefa. I will have to go back to Ethiopia after Assefa passes court to get him, hopefully by November.

I have really been out of the loop since baby Jarib came home three months ago. How about a speed reader catch up?

Jake, Holly, grand kids Silas and Lauren came for a nice visit after I got home from Alabama. Holly is having a new baby next month! Pray for her and their new baby daughter to be. We also went later in summer to Brookings where Jake and Holly live for vacation. It was so beautiful there and I think it was the best vacation I have ever had. We visited the beach everyday and stayed in a cabin up the river. Not camping out in the rain sure has it's benefits.

Jarib started getting casts on his legs to correct his club feet as soon as we got back to WA state. I drive him to Shriners Hospital for his casts and he also has had lots of other appointments in Spokane to see neurosurgeon for CAT scans and to check the pressure in his head. No VP shunt yet and this is TERRIFIC news. Jarib has had four surgeries in his short life...his spinal repair in AL, then since coming here surgery for spine wound repair, another for a HUGE hernia, and last week had his heel cords cut(for club feet). Poor guy is such a trooper. Unless he is in pain from getting new casts he is such an easy going little guy. I am SOOOO ready to be done with making the trips to Spokane for casting and I know Jarib is too. He is smiling and laughing now and constantly cooing and "talking" that adorable baby singing talk. We are all enjoying him so much. I am weeping as I write this to know I am LEAVING my baby in one hour for seven days! ugh. Jarib will be with my sister Katie when Mike is at work this coming week so he will be well cared for and loved on I am sure.

All the kids started school a few weeks ago and are liking it a lot. Yasab is even in public school this year. Solomon is in Preschool four afternoons a week, Tamar MyHao in 1st grade, Maggie, Berhanu and Josiah are in 2nd grade, Anna and Miriam in 4th grade, Meseret in 6th and enjoying her first year in middle school, Yasab in 9th grade and Tigist in 10th. Michael is working as checker at Safeway and saving money before picking back up at CBC to finish his degree. Mulu Hope is out of Job Core and on her own. Roza and Haimanot still finishing up Job Core. Kayla as always is a huge help and is watching the kids again for my trip to Ethiopia.

The whole family LOVED the AAI (Adoption Advocates International) get together at Warm Beach Camp. So fun to see all the families with adopted kids and catch up with my email friends. Of course the teen Ethio girls were in heaven.

Early September Maggie, Jarib and Solomon all had a couple days of clinic appointments at Seattle Children's Hospital.

Mike and I mostly just trying to keep our head above water. Strive for a little sleep, a little peace, and keeping the kids belly's full and clean clothes on their backs. We just want all our little ones home...and are longing for the day that Judah Gezehegn AND Job Assefa are both home. Psssss...we also are praying that big chick Cody will be moving back to town, and maybe another one of our grown kids too.....

I am not taking laptop to Ethiopia but may be able to access facebook or give Mike info to share on blog.

God is doing such amazing things. We feel we do live life on a battle field sometimes more than others. Serving a living powerful King is exhilarating and wonderfully rewarding....but we do get bloodied and beaten up at times. Pray for us. We have been so blessed in so many ways, but we are still get weak and tired and weary needing to remember constantly to fill up with His living water.

Great News!!

2009-08-22T04:28:00.000-07:00

Introducing our new son....Judah Gezehegn Feser. He passed court in Ethiopia yesterday. It was the last day court was open before they close it for rainy season...not to be reopened until October. It has been a long battle and AAI has jumped through a lot of hoops to get his paperwork in order. His paperwork delays were numerous and varied but it finally all came together. We are overjoyed to say he is all "ours" now! Our little Assefa's file will be complete in a day or so. Assefa had needed a newly required letter from town where he was found and it took quite awhile to get it. Too late to get through before court closure but he should be able to pass as soon as they reopen in October. It has been such a battle for these little boys this past year. One thing after another. I truly was starting to doubt they would ever come home. Now....Gezehegn is! Yah!!!

With a baby at home and Mike not having any vacation days we had thought to use the escort option when the boys passed court. It adds time to their homecoming if we choose to use an escort rather than one of us travel. Once Gezehegn passed court yesterday we knew there was NOTHING that was going to cause us to delay his homecoming even one more day. I agonize over leaving baby Jarib here at home but we think this is best option. (I'd bring him with me if Mike would let me!) I will make it as quick a trip to Addis as possible to pick up Gezehegn. It is good I will be able to visit Assefa at AHOPE again. He is almost 14 months old now and we have concerns for his health. At least we know he is happy at AHOPE but it sure will be good to see his sweet face in person again.

I think I will be leaving third week in September but will know for sure later this next week. I am so happy our Judah Gezehegn will be in my arms again soon.

I know I disappeared on all of you. I think it is the longest I have ever gone without posting. Lots of reasons. I will try to update more on baby and family later (promise)

Praising God for His perfect timing and for our new son Judah

Home Sweet Home

2009-06-26T15:27:00.000-07:00

Jarib and I got home to WA state last night. My friends outside of Mobile came and got us in Birmingham for a visit with them. It was so wonderful to spend time with them..More of our visit with them later. Then Wednesday I got the call from lawyer that we had interstate compact approval . Yah!!! Got a plane ticket home for Thursday. I got a big smacking kiss from Heaven when I was mistakenly put in first class all the way from Houston to Seattle. Boy was that nice! Mike picked me up at the airport and I just sobbed to hold my man again. The kids all just adore the baby of course. Jarib very quickly has learned that he likes to be help 24/7 and luckily there are lots of arms waiting their turns to hold him. I am exhausted but oh so happy to be home. I got to see Mulu before she had to leave and Cody comes tomorrow and Roza next week. I think Jake and Holly are coming for visit next weekend. Everyone wants to meet their new baby brother. I am loving have a baby again but will need to start implementing nap time. That means ME having nap time when littles are having their afternoon rest. I need it after being up with Jarib at night. I feel a bit like a zoombie today. Thank you all for your prayers for this sweet boy. Jarib has appointments in Spokane July 6th-7th for VP shunt and also his club feet.

Now keep up the prayers for Assefa and Gezehegn to pass court and get home too.

Julee

Alone At Last

2009-06-19T08:13:00.000-07:00

Jarib and I moved to Ronald McDonald House yesterday afternoon. Monday he sees his neurosurgeon to check his head size. Except for that appointment we are free just to hang out here at RMH and enjoy each other. Jarib LOVES being worn in a baby sling, He LOVES getting to eat whenever he is hungry and not on a hospital schedule. I miss the rest of the family but am sure enjoying my time with him....just mommy and Jarib. I'm so homesick but am committed to cherishing every moment of this time together.

Today Mike and I had to sign a "At-Risk Placement Regarding Indian Heritage" and fax it back to lawyer. Every once in awhile the fear of losing Jarib to the tribe will cross my mind and my heart races and my blood runs cold. The I remind myself quickly that God orchestrated all the events leading us adopt Jarib. No matter what happens in the future we are just where we are suppose to be right now. No matter what happens He will be with us and our baby. We have to wait here for interstate compact approval between Alabama and Washington. As soon as I get that "okay" we'll be getting a flight home!

Yesterday while still at the hospital we had a nice visit with Jarib's birth parents. I was able to get some photos of him with each of them alone and all together. The plan is for an open adoption with sharing of photos, letters, phone calls etc...Mike and I know this is a huge blessing for Jarib. So many of our children have no contact nor any information about their birth parents. Some feel deeply the loss and "blankness" of biological knowledge. Some of our kids suffer a lot of pain because of continued knowledge and contact with bio family. It's a mixed up bag of good and bad emotions. So far the good in birth parent contact outweighs the bad.

Baby has full tummy and sleeping. I think I should go scoop him up just to snuggle in his peacefulness and baby sleeping sweetness. Those newborn baby funny faces are priceless but don't last forever....I don't want to miss a single one.

Julee

Baby Bliss 24 Hours A Day...

2009-06-17T03:49:00.000-07:00

I now have our darling Jarib 24 hours a day! It started out yesterday with a CAT scan at 4:00 AM. His head size hadn't grown and neurosurgeon on duty said he was;t ready for a VP shunt yet ad to follow up in weeks. I guess his ventricles are not even enlarged enough to put a shunt in. Wouldn't it be awesome if he never needed one!?!

So my question was "why does this baby need to be in hospital?". I have to spend a day or two in a "rooming in" room and then can be discharged to RMH. (Ronald McDonald House) So I now have our little guy all to myself in a regular room. Jarib has no monitors or wires attached to him. The staff just check his vitals a few times a day. We are left alone together to bask in mommy/baby bliss. It is lovely. I have to watch a car seat video and do the CPR training this morning. Monday he sees his neurosurgeon in clinic to check his head size etc...

So the only obstacles now to homecoming are just the court stuff (birth parents need to go to court this afternoon to sign their final papers) and interstate compact stuff. Please pray that court goes smoothly today and that the approval from interstate compact offices come back quickly. Mike at home sounds tired. Kids at home are okay but want mommy home.

thanks friends!
Julee

Prayer

2009-06-15T06:05:00.000-07:00

Mostly I pray by just talking to God as I go about my day. In my "normal" life most days I never have a quiet moment to sit down for official "Quiet Time" with the Lord. I used to get up at 4:30-5:00 AM for my quiet time...but now when I get up early there are little ones up too. Tamar MyHao wakes at the slightest noise and is often found up long before sunrise. It's just very difficult to find a quiet time at home. I live for my long walks along the river. The big girls watch the kids for me and I try to take a walk a hour or more at least once a day. It becomes a nice private talk with the Lord enjoying His handiwork in the beauty along the river paths. When I have a child in the hospital I have the loveliest quiet times. There are endless quiet hours to sit by the bedside of a sleeping child. Now,like many times before in the past I find myself beside the bed of a much loved child. Worries and concern float around my consciousness constantly. I am mostly alone with no family and friends here. What a grand opportunity for the Lord to fill me up! How wonderful it is to find myself in a place where all I have is God to count on. Of course that is always true. Every day. Every moment. Every breath we take comes from Him. But it is just too easy to be so busy in regular daily life and not focus on Him. Finding myself scared, lonely and needy makes me hungrier for Him. Great need is a great thing. Talking to Him. Praising Him. Listening to Him. It's all praying. On my knees beseeching Him for my desires (court in Ethiopia, Jarib's healing, family at home, etc...) At the elevator asking Him for food to be in cafeteria without gluten that I can eat. In the NICU waiting room asking Him for perfect words to share with others what He has done for us. Asking Him while getting caught in downpour on the walk from hospital to RMH to keep me from getting so wet that I am "indecent" looking for mixed company. It's all prayer. Here is a great quote below.

The only way to pray
is to pray;

and the only way to pray well
is to pray much.

If one has no time for this,
then one must at least pray regularly.

But the less one prays,
the worse it goes."

~ John Chapman

Introducing.....

2009-06-14T09:40:00.000-07:00

One of the world's most adorable babies..

Jarib Ezekiel Feser

Jarib is a Hebrew word that means "he will fight". As a verb: “he will fight”, like in the verse “Rob not the poor, because he is poor, neither oppress the afflicted in the gate, for the Lord will plead their cause (יָרִיב רִיבָם) and spoil the soul of those that spoiled them.” Proverbs 22, 22-23. Ezekiel means "God will strengthen or God's champion". We prayed about the perfect name for our new baby and feel that Jarib Ezekiel is a powerful name that well suits this precious baby. We pray he will someday be a mighty champion for God and he will in the Lord's name fight and plead the cause of those afflicted and oppressed.

no shunt today

2009-06-12T13:31:00.000-07:00

Surgery postponed again for baby. The ped neurosurgeon on duty today felt that it wasn't quite time yet (or bad enough) to do the VP shunt on baby. It will be reevaluated throughout the weekend and Monday. I have been praying that it would self resolve and he wouldn't need a shunt. Keep praying for that. It would awesome for him if he didn't need one. There is talk of him going to private room or even being discharged to Ronald McDonald House with me. No hurry though, they will talk about that Monday too. He is eating better today and is awake a lot more. He is so much fun to spend time with!

Julee

Great Christain Fiction

2009-06-12T06:21:00.000-07:00

So in my "off" hours out of the NICU I have been reading. I started a great book on the plane and finished it and also part 2 of the series. The author is named Allison Pittman. Book one is called "Ten Thousand Charms" and book two is "Speak Through The Wind". (too bad I have never figured out how to post cute links to outside info on my blog....must learn that soon!) I ordered the third book in series last night from Amazon to be shipped to me here at Ronald McDonald House. I know I am not the only Francine Rivers fan. Her "Redeeming Love" is a classic and the fiction book that most changed my life. Yasab fell in love with Jesus reading "Redeeming Love". These books by Allison Pittman remind me of "Redeeming Love". Just had to share!

Off to NICU. Visiting hours start at 9:00AM and I like to be there waiting and watching the clock to get right in there to gaze at that beautiful face! As it stands now his shunt surgery is #4 on the schedule and will happen around 12:30-1:00 PM.

Julee

update on ET court and VP shunt

2009-06-11T12:38:00.000-07:00

No news from Ethiopia today. Assefa had court. A few cases passed but mostly the news was that MOWA letters were not ready. Agency has emailed to find out specifically about Assefa. I am assuming that the needed info on non existent birth father of Gezehegn is still missing so both still in limbo land. ugh

Our sweet baby boy here in Alabama NICU needs a VP shunt. He was going to have surgery yesterday and was NPO (no food) till 2:00PM when we were told he had been bumped to Friday for surgery. He has become a sluggish bottle feeder (swallowing is one skill you lose with inter cranial pressure) and is very sleepy. I hear that the surgery schedule is packed for tomorrow and he may be bumped to first thing Saturday. ugh. Poor baby. I shared with staff in NICU today that I am used to older child with VP shunt where you just don't mess around with even suspicion that the child needs surgery. Newborns skulls have so much "give" that it really isn't an emergency. Relaxing about postponing shunt placement though goes against ever fiber of my being and it totally out of my comfort zone. I always like to say how good it is for all of us to step out of our comfort zones....It may be good for me but I still can't wait until he has a working shunt and a flat fontanel. Wanna see a pretty head still without a shaved spot and shunt showing under skin? Here he is...

Ooops...I can not seem to add photos. I think the dial up connection is too slow at Ronald McDonald to do photos. I will try later. There is wireless in downstairs family room that I can try tonight.

Julee

1 Year and God's Math

2009-06-09T19:58:00.000-07:00

One year ago Mike and I officially started a new adoption. We had known we would adopt again but weren't sure when we would be ready. We were still raw from Jonathan's death in April. The only thing we could do was to keep to the path God had laid before us. Though we felt beaten and defeated in grief's rough hands, we HAD to remain the people God had created us to be. It was a big step in our healing process. Sometimes it feels like "you" have died when you bury someone. Being who God made you to be reminds you that you are still alive.

We'd had for a long time the picture of a little girl named Edelawit in Ethiopia on our frig. She was sitting on the lap of a nun next to a friend's child-to-be. We loved this little girl. Beware: putting orphan's kids pics on your frig reminds you to pray for them and you also fall in love with them! We started the paperwork for her and also asked to be matched with a baby boy. Our family had been through so much with Jonathan's illness the last few years. For this reason we chose to do easiest adoption (younger than our youngest at home) and easiest special need (HIV). We found out about Assefa our baby boy at AHOPE shortly before our dossier went to Ethiopia in August. We "thought" our kids would be home in November. Sadly we lost the referral for our sweet girl while visiting Addis in Oct. We added our adorable Down Syndrome toddler Gezehegn to Assefa's adoption.

We never imagined that we would have found ourselves here a year later still waiting for our new kids. That is so often the way isn't it? We begin to a course knowing what God wants us to do and "thinking" we know how it will turn out. Stuff happened "worse" than I ever imagined. Stuff like losing our little girl's referral and endless ridiculous delays for the boys. And stuff happened "better" than I ever imagined. Big stuff like being here in AL a year later loving on this precious baby boy. Big stuff like three trips to Ethiopia in the last year where God worked in HUGE ways in a lot of lives. God's math at work. When things seem like disaster to us; God is powerfully working in ways not possible if stuff had turned out that way we wanted it too.

What equals "good" and "bad" in God's math is totally different that the math of good and bad of this world. This world calls "bad" the sick, weak, and needy. In God's math our weakness and poverty of spirit are "good" (for us). Our pain, frustrations and great neediness is what causes us to call out to God. When we approach him with our brokenness and emptiness is when He swoops down and feeds us His riches. He fills us up with Himself and heals us. Then He shows us how to share His love with others. We share because God Stuff is too exciting and fantastic not to share.

Father in Heaven, thank you that Your ways are perfect and Your riches exceed our wildest dreams. Thank you when You reveal more of Your love to us in our pain and need. Help us when things seem bad here in our temporary home...to seek You and Your comfort. Use Lord even our hardest times in this world to refine us and mold us into the children to You that You created us to be. Amen

Julee

2009-06-09T14:11:00.000-07:00

Things are going good here in Baby Land. Our baby is thriving. He was allowed to get off his tummy yesterday afternoon (5 days post spinal repair) and this made eating MUCH easier for him. Imagine trying to learn to take a bottle flat on your stomach with your head lower than your bottom?! I have been able to hold him and feed him and he is loving it. So am I! Everyone in NICU is still looking towards a VP shunt but since it isn't "emergency" at this point they are giving him a few more days. There is a chance the fluid on brain issue may resolve itself though that seems unlikely. A part of me sort of wished if they had to do it they do it sooner so he could be discharged sooner.....BUT if he doesn't need a shunt yet that would be better. It is worth waiting just to be sure. Once you have a VP shunt you have it for life. It's a big deal and one to avoid if at all possible.

Some of the drama with birth parent issues is dieing down. God is blessing my socks off with HIS presence. I am constantly finding myself in tears. I can handle most all things without crying. But feeling God working, talking about Him to others, seeing the miracles He works, and basking in His extravagant grace and love towards me....well, all that stuff makes me cry. There's something about His spirit moving that makes my eyes leak out all the time.

I can tell you that He is in this situation 1000%. He loves us and loves this baby. He has a very special plan for this child. He told me. I have such peace. I know that no matter what ever happens in the coming months that we are right where our Father wants us, and that He is working His good purposes in this time.

from Baby Land

2009-06-07T05:30:00.001-07:00

Our new baby is doing really well. I will post his name and pic next week ..but till then believe me when I say he is gorgeous! The bandage is off his back and his "repair" is healing up nicely. He seems ready to be able to get off his stomach. He only needs to stay on stomach with his head lower that his bottom for five days after surgery, so Monday..tomorrow he should be able to be in more natural positions. It's hard to bottle feed laying on your tummy. He is doing pretty well eating but he still gets fatigued and frustrated with the awkward position. They have been slowly upping the amount of formula they want him to take. Whatever he doesn't take by the bottle is fed via NG tube. So far no signs he needs a VP shunt but I am still counting on that happening. He is still cathed every 12 hours but there is little urine left in bladder. He wets his diapers a lot though. This is great! and I believe they will stop the cathing today. He does leak stool constantly and has sore bottom because of it. He does move his legs a tiny bit. Less than he did before surgery. He seems to feel some when I touch his legs so I am happy about that!

Within the next few days the staff will be meeting with me again to discuss when he will be discharged. After discharge I will have to stay here longer for adoption related paperwork. The paperwork issues I mentioned before was that it came out once I got here that birth Dad is Native American. This is a situation that requires new paperwork filed in court and "permission" from the tribe. Please pray. We are hoping it helps that Mike's "Little Grandma" was full blooded Native American and that we practice such strong cultural respect and education with all our children; both bio and adopted. The issues with the Tribe will not keep me from coming home with baby but could in future complicate finalizing adoption.

I am spending every second I can in NICU with baby and once back at RMH (Ronald McDonald House)I am so exhausted I can hardly think let alone get post. I realized I need to start eating better and sleeping more while here. The high level of emotions seems to equate to exhaustion. Anyone else notice that? Like you are way more tired when your emotions are climbing peaks and valleys all day long?

I have been so blessed by the time I have spent with birth mom and dad. It's sad that Mike can't be here for this. When we come back in three months to finalize adoption Mike will be able to meet birth parents. Adoption always has grief and loss attached. No matter newborn adoption with known birth parents, foster care adoption, international adoption. No matter the age, situation or type of adoption....it is always a journey filled with extremes of emotions and contrasts of those who gaining and losing.

Keep praying for baby and his healing. Keep praying for Mike as he finishes the "outage" at work. Keep praying for Kayla as she cares for the kids at home. KEEP praying for all my kids! I have a grown chick who is hurting and this hen just wants to be able to scoop 'em up under my wings. I have to give that over to the Father's sheltering wings. I miss the kids at home and have no idea when I will be home with them. I am SOOO thankful for Kayla and that I can know all is well at home.

Even though I am in Baby Land and falling deeper and deeper in love with our little guy every second.....my heart still aches for our boys in Ethiopia. I can not help but fear for them and the continued delays. Assefa has a new court date on June 11. This was moved up from his late June date so that was good news! Gezehegn STILL needs more info for MOWA and court about birth parents. Imagine how hard it is to track down a beggar women who relinquished a child years ago? ugh. Pray for Gezehegn's needed paperwork so he can come home to us.

Love, Julee

Baby Blessings!!

2009-06-04T21:18:00.001-07:00

I'm in Alabama with a beautiful baby boy! Found out baby was coming Tuesday morning. I got off the plan early Wednesday morning. It's been a wonderful whirlwind since then. It's about midnight Thursday night and I have Internet for the first time. Had to share our news with my blogging buddies! Too exhausted to write much but I will have much more opportunities to get online now.

Baby had his repair surgery yesterday (for spina bifida). He is doing good. They have a great NICU here. They are watching him for for signs he will need VP shunt. He is adorable! Some paperwork glitches with adoption (I expect this nowadays, I am cynical?) Baby is adorable! Oh, did I say that already?

Love, Julee
blown away with baby love fever

another delay for our little boys

2009-05-27T12:16:00.000-07:00

This is what I heard regarding Assefa's court today...

"For Assefa Feser, he was given a negative recommendation due to an error on the paperwork. In the file are a two letters, one is a police paper and then the approval letter from the Oromia office. There are about 20 children on the approval letter, and most of the other children have already passed. The approval letter makes reference to both letters in the file, by stating the letter number and letter date. In doing so they accidentally put the month as 07 instead of 03, though all the other details in the approval letter were correct. This is now going to have to be corrected. XXXXX from Shashemene is coming on Friday to take it and get it corrected. The new court date is June 22nd........."

I haven't heard any news about Gezehegn. I imagine that even if Gezehegn's paperwork was in order the court would not hear his case as Assefa's failed. This is so discouraging.

Julee

New Baby & Silver Linings

2009-05-25T21:25:00.000-07:00

I think; it seems like; and I keep trying to have faith...that we are having a new baby!! No better news than that is possible. Several weeks ago I saw an email from another adoptive mom about the search for a family for a baby boy due end of June with Spina Bifida. I responded kind of flippantly " who could turn down a newborn?!! "we were all over that!!!" Never did I expect any return emails or really sincere feedback about the possibility of Mike and I being chosen to parent this baby!? But guess what happened?! they chose us!? We prayed that if we were the best thing for this baby that all doors would fly open or if this was not best thing for the baby or our family that doors would slam shut. So the doors flew wide open. Before we knew it we realized it really looked like we are getting a teeny tiny newborn! What a very cool and amazing thing to happen! We are SO VERY MUCH excited about this baby boy. He is due June 20 but we think he will be born via c-section sooner than that. Right now I am ready to hop a plane as soon as we know he is will be born. Silver lining in dark clouds: NEVER would we have considered or responded to email about adopting a baby had we just brought home two little boys from Ethiopia. Or if I was preparing to travel any second to ET to fetch Gezehegn or Assefa home. Really we never would have considered this baby had our boys in ET come home when expected. Never did we dream God would bring us another tiny baby. We are SOOO excited. He (the baby) is real to us and we already love him so much. We have prayed for the perfect name for this little boy. We know that like all our children and all the rest of us; that God has a perfect plan for this child. How exciting!

We need prayers for this baby. We need prayers for his birth parents and all they are going through. We need prayers for God's perfect timing for baby's birth and my travel and Mike' work schedule when I am out of town. I will travel to be with our new baby when he is born and when he has surgery for spina bifida. Hopefully he will have a speedy recovery and the interstate compact office (between WA and AL) will okay travel quickly so he can come home as soon as possible!

Silver linings. Think I will name them "platinum linings". I would never have chosen to delay Assefa or Gezehegn's homecoming for anything. But if they were not delayed we would never have considered this new baby. This is why I can trust His timing. This is why I trust Him.

Julee
in waiting with happy expectations

Proof Of Miracles

2009-05-25T10:15:00.000-07:00

I love this photo of Anna, Josiah and Maggie. I offer it to you as a gift from our past. This photo is taken in Johannesburg, South Africa in our hotel room in June 2002.

Anna is just 2 years old and had only been home from China 6 months. The wait for her was super painful for me. She was our first adoption and I thought I would go insane waiting for her. We were delayed a bit with 9/11 but finally united with her at Christmas time 2001. We had known from the start of our adoption we wanted to adopt another little girl someday. We thought Anna should have a sibling closer to her age as there was just Michael age 11 at home then. We had sent a dossier to Cambodia the previous fall but adoptions from Cambodia closed down the week we were in China. Our agency at the time also had an adoption program in SA (South Africa). We switched programs and sent our dossier there. SA allowed the adoption of two unrelated children. I too this day can not believe Mike said "okay" when I asked if we could ask for TWO babies. We started the wait for two infants under 12 months of age, healthy or mild special needs. Our dossier had only been in SA a week when our facilitator called and asked us about two babies. There was a 9 mos old girl with a VP shunt for hydrocephalus and a 11 mos old boy with cerebral palsy. We were emailed their medical records and looked them over. It was just too much for us and we said "no" without ever seeing their photo. It felt like their medical issues were too extreem for us to deal with. A month went by before Mike and I came to each other and confessed that we had been wrong to say no. Even though we were scared to death of it all...we knew that God wanted us to say "yes" to these two babies in South Africa. So that is how we found ourselves in that hotel room. Still scared to death about what was ahead..but madly in love with these babies. We knew what a miracle they were and how much God had done to being them to us.

Josiah was left for dead as a newborn weighing just under 2 lbs. In the orphanage they kept waiting for him to die and didn't expend too much time on him till he was about 8 mos old. The Sister told me they then felt like he had a chance and he started to eat more and gain a bit of weight. He didn't move his legs and his feet were not developed. When we brought him home at 13 mos old he weighed 11 lbs. It was a miracle Josiah was ever found and brought to orphanage. It was a miracle he survived all those months on the weak formula he was fed by dripping the milk from teaspoon down his throat. When he came home he could barely sit up, couldn't crawl, use his legs or eat anything by mouth except fluid from a bottle.

Maggie was born to a very young mom dieing of AIDS. Maggie was born healthy but was HIV+. At one week of age she stopped breathing and "coded" and they resuscitated her. At one month they discovered she was had hydrocephalus (fluid on her brain) and she had surgery to place a VP shunt. The fluid on her brain was due to when she coded and had a brain bleed. The VP shunt was a miracle. They just don't do that for orphaned HIV tribal babies there. Sister Glorina loved Maggie and prayed over her daily. Usually at that time babies were not retested for HIV until they were over 18 mos old. If the babies were a false HIV+ then it would show them HIV- by 18 mos. Often babies died before reaching that age from virus' and diarrhea that swept through the orphanage. Sister Glorina wanted so much for Maggie to have a chance she had her retested for HIV at 8 mos of age. She was HIV-! There are more accurate ways of testing at this time but in 2001 it was not known if a baby was truly HIV+ or just testing that way due to bio mom's antibodies for HIV. At that time the adoption of foreign born HIV+ children was not allowed by the U.S. Since Maggie was now HIV- she could be adopted. When the time came to travel to SA for Maggie and Josiah we found out that the doctors and court decided Maggie was too ill and brain damaged to be adopted. I flew ahead of time to Johannesburg to address the court and the doctors to convince them that Maggie was worth adopting! So many miracles happened to Maggie before we ever even met her. When she came to us at 11 mos of age age she weighed almost 8 lbs. Once home the doctors here felt she would have only lasted another few weeks if she had not been taken from the orphanage and received aggressive medical care. Her body was in starvation mode and it took months to turn her health around. We could tell she had cerebral palsy but it was impossible to tell how affected she would be.

Adopting Anna was a scary thing for us. We had 7 bio kids that were about all grown. We had never much thought about adoption. We had NO IDEA the miracle it was to be given a child from God through adoption. If adopting the first time was scary, then adopting Maggie and Josiah was petrifying! All our fears came true. They were very very sick kids. Josiah did wind up learning to use his legs just fine. His first few years were fraught with lots of medical issues but he is now an average 8 year old. Maggie wound up being more affected than we imagined. I was so afraid of having a child that couldn't walk and had cerebral palsy. I wasn't even aware of the rest of the stuff to be afraid of! G-tubes and seizures. Getting up several times a night for the rest of my life turning her body as she can not mover herself. Near death VP shunt failures. Fighting insurance for medical equipment and supplies. The hardest thing of all.....looking into those eyes of hers that understand so much and seeing her frustrations with her own body. Never hearing her speak. Loving her so much and knowing she just wants what every little princess wants but she can not have. Knowing we can easily lose her at any time.

When we stepped out in faith and obeyed God to adopt Maggie and Josiah we were clueless. We had fears that seem so meaningless now. Stuff can actually be way worse at times than we ever imagined. Mostly we were clueless about what God was gifting us with. Josiah and Maggie are wonderful blessings from God just like any child. Maggie is so affected physically and so powerless in her surroundings. She is at the mercy of others for every single thing. She is a lot of work. But she is by far the VERY BEST thing that has ever happened to us except for Jesus dieing on the cross. All those fears we had...but no idea what incredible wonders and pure joy he was bringing to us in Maggie.

When I look at this picture taken in that South African hotel room, I can remember how afraid I had been. I remember my worries for the future. But mostly I remember how it began to sink in how many miracles God had worked to save these precious babies. My babies! How when things looked hopeless to those around them their first months, God saved them. When all doubted they would live long He brought them just in time to a family and U.S. medical care. He has a plan for them. And a wonderful part of the plan He had for mine and Mike's lives was to bring these amazing children into our world. God's blessings unfold and are revealed daily like an amazing masterpiece being created. How can I doubt His best and perfect choices when He has proven over and over again HE is the God of miracles? How can I doubt that Assefa and Gezehegn are not being held safely in His hands? I can't. How can I doubt that everything will be okay? I can't

Julee

Our Champion & Our Enemy

2009-05-25T08:02:00.001-07:00

I have struggled with how to post about the situation in Ethiopia. I struggle with how to not live in constant agony and worry that Assefa and Gezehegn will ever pass court. Sometimes I just function by trying to not even think about it...keeping my mind on things here at home and just day to day stuff. They ARE our sons though. We may not have passed court so that legally they are "ours" but they are TOTALLY ours in our hearts. Making the visit trips and spending so much time with them makes it impossible for them to remain an abstract dream. Sometimes when you have a referred child and just a photo to look at it is easier to keep emotions in check and wonder if your child is even "real". Once you meet them you can touch them, smell them, hear their cry and their giggles. Then they are part of your real life experience and no longer just a picture on the frig. (have no doubts though that waiting for your child who is only a picture.... still is horribly LONG and PAINFUL!)

Court stuff has been a seemingly never ending process of delays. The delays have ranged from missing letters from original orphanage where Gezehegn was placed years ago too electricity being out on day of court so it was canceled. Court not agreeing to split cases of Assefa and Gezehegn (more paperwork for court). Huge batches of cases failing court after our agency had hired a new attorney and MOWA insisted the old POA (power of attorney) wouldn't cut it. MOWA not writing approval letters for cases without court date and court saying no new court dates until MOWA wrote letters. sigh. I only share a few of these court delay details. For those adopting themselves who are obsessively interested with court happenings there are way better resources to hear the facts than from me. I only give a short overview for those of you not obsessed with Ethiopian court happenings. Just understand that it just ain't the same ball game it was a few years ago. Ethiopian adoption court and government has been implementing a system whereas to protect their country's children from fraud, illegal activity and immoral practices. That bad stuff can happen and has happened elsewhere. When there is a "market" for healthy babies there will be those who want to make money at the expense of children and families.

Our agency AAI has done everything they can in our case. I trust them. The Ethiopian court and MOWA has been trying to do the right thing in our case. Not one person that I know of has maliciously tried to cause our boys harm. But the delays are harming them. Who do you know that would want to keep an immune compromised HIV+ baby boy or an ill toddler with Down Syndrome from a loving family? Who would choose NOT to help them if they had the chance? Who would put up road block after road block to keep them alone and endanger their lives? Who would try to keep them in an institution as they continue to get older and older causing them more developmental and attachment delays? Who would choose to keep them undernourished and exposed to multiply parasites, diseases and infection? Their enemy is not any one person or bureaucrat. Their enemy is much more evil than an ignorant office peon or overworked stressed out staff person. Their enemy is my enemy too and the only guy I am furious with. Guess what though? This is an enemy we can fight. Because the war is already won. The skirmishes and battles can knock me down though sometimes. In this battle we only have one way to FIGHT. We keep our eyes on Jesus and our ear turned to the Lord. And PRAY! God gave us such an awesome thing in prayer. He chose to make use of the prayers of His saints to accomplish His good and perfect will. When I pray to God about Assefa and Gezehegn so far away ...well, really I am praying cus "I" want them home. But what happens when I pray is that I get more in line with the Father's heart. I get closer to Him. I learn more about Him. And I hope I become just a tiny bit more like Him.

Please PRAY!!. Assefa has a court date the 27th on Wednesday. (it was suppose to be April 27th after failed date on April 3rd but was mistakenly added instead to May 27) Gezehegn's court file has been "open". It is in stack of cases that failed due to POA thing. They will be heard as court has time in normal scheduled docket. NOT heard by which case is longest waiting or sickest kids :-(. Most recently court or MOWA (I forget which) asked about Gezehegn's birth father and wanted more info before passing his case. There is no info. So AAI has been working on getting a letter from director of KT the first orphanage he was at. The letter can only say there is no info and they have investigated the matter all they can. Hopefully AAI will have the completed letter before Wednesday's court. Then both Assefa and Gezehegn could pass! With so many delays I dare to even have hope or excitement about court. I do feel SO VERY convicted to PRAY though and ask you all too also. Pray against the enemy's schemes to cause harm to these precious children and discouragement to us. Pray for our boys' health and protection. Pray that paperwork is all in order so they can pass court. Pray that God continues to give us perfect peace about His timing.

We have a Champion. He goes before us and stands behind us. He loves us and only wants the most perfect best ever things for us. He is all powerful and he fights for us. Gosh I love Him. Thank you Yahweh God.

Julee
Happy Memorial Day!
I am loving having the kids home today, trying to keep them quiet as Mike is sleeping and goes to work tonight. Better go to the park

New "me"

2009-05-24T02:38:00.000-07:00

I visited the my hair designer this week. I LOVE getting my hair done. Usually I am so overdue for a trim or coloring (covering my slowly graying roots) that I don't go till I absolutely can not stand how my hair looks. I made a change this time. This photo is hard to see but she didn't due the highlights throughout whole head of hair. The bottom was all died a rich dark brown, and only top was foiled and highlights with the brown and really blond. It is pretty different but I am happy with it. Mike LOVES the dark color on me. I should put this post under my "money well spent" group because the $110 I spent to get a cut and super coloring made me feel like a million bucks, not just 110 bucks!

Julee
hipper and younger looking today

Beer Bread

2009-05-24T01:51:00.000-07:00

To break my several weeks hiatus from posting...I have something fun for you! Someone posted on an Ethio adoption group I am on, about a bread recipe that her Ethio kids loved. It reminded them of the bread baked in Ethiopia. I tried it and is is very similar to the yeasty white bread served at Layla for breakfast or with tea for the nanny's snack time. Mmmmm. I just had to try this recipe to see if it really worked (and it was good excuse to buy beer too) Recipe is 3 cups of self rising flour, 1 bottle of beer, and 1/3 cup of sugar. Stir it all together, put in loaf pan and bake at 350 for about 50 minutes. It was wonderful! I didn't have white sugar and added some honey instead, that worked just fine. I avoid using white flour and will try this recipe next with my freshly ground wheat and add the baking soda and a little salt to make my own "self rising" flour. I have done this successfully with my friend's easy and good biscuit recipe made with self rising flour, mayonnaise and milk. Substituting the wheat for white flour keeps it from being quite as light and fluffy...but I just keep tweaking it.
Here is some beer bread batter in our favorite dinosaur bread pan (Target find) This pan makes little dinosaur shaped bread, muffin or brownies. Notice it is shaped like a big dinosaur foot print?

Here's how it looks baked up. The loaf sliced and toasted nicely too! What could be eaiser?!

Julee
still gluten free but whose kids are not

Adoptive Mom's Retreat

2009-05-04T13:53:00.000-07:00

It was awesome!! I am blown away with the special surprise of a TOTALLY awesome time at the retreat. I sure wish I knew how to link the place we stayed there. I will enlist the help of teen son who is tech savvy to show me how to link the site to my posts here. It is called Mountain River Lodge and it was so very perfect there. More on that later. I was stressed and ill prepared for my talks but they went okay. The very nicest thing was just how wonderful it was to hang out all weekend with a group of Jesus loving, God fearing, and spirit following fellow adoptive moms. I found myself surrounded by a lovely group of women who were like me! It was so extremely fun and pure joy. I had no idea how much I needed it and how very wonderful it was to be around like-minded people. Maybe you all don't realize that many think Mike and I are crazy or weird or just too far out there....too be normal people. I was SOO ministered too by the women this weekend. Worship times were meaningful and the food was gourmet. It was so very beautiful there too. I took a few opportunities to walk alone along the river and into the forest. Oh my gosh. I can't wait till next year cus I plan on going NO MATTER WHAT. The retreat was put on by Adoption Ministry which is who facilitated our Jonathan's adoption. I also met a lot of moms who have adopted through Youth For Christ. These were mom's who have foster-adopted. What a blessing all these precious mothers are. I learned a lot and now find myself just filled up and recharged. Thank you Lord

Julee

Spokane and Snoqualmie Pass

2009-04-28T22:07:00.000-07:00

Very early tomorrow morning Berhanu, Maggie, Yasab and I leave for Spokane. Berhanu has his oncology clinic appointments and a sedated CAT scan Wednesday afternoon. Thursday Maggie sees her neurosurgeon and has a CAT scan to check her VP shunt. We'd love to spend the night with our Dalaina and Rob and the grandkids...but we can't get Maggie and her wheelchair into their house. So we will be whooping it up with cable TV and room service at the Quality Inn. Yasab is coming as I need her to help me get the wheelchair in and out of the van. It's nice to have some "car drive" time once in awhile with a older child. Stuck in a car on a long drive makes an opportunity for some nice long conversations...I always learn the most interesting things about my kids on long drives.

We get home Thursday night and Friday morning I leave for Snoqualmie Pass for an adoptive mom's retreat. I knew I was going before I left for Ethiopia but haven't and a spare day to really prepare for the retreat. I am speaking Friday night, doing two small workshops on Saturday and speaking Sunday morning. I am looking forward to the weekend. What could be cooler than hanging with like minded Christian adoptive moms? I am praying that it is a refreshing and uplifting time for all of us there and that God guides my words and conversations over the weekend.

Our personal adoption saga continues. More failed court dates and postponements in Ethiopia. The details are just too depressing to go into now. I have no idea when our boys will be home. Maybe Gezehegn will be home sometime this summer and maybe Assefa will be home next fall. Sometimes I truly doubt they will ever be home. I don't understand. I don't understand why this is taking so long. I only know that God loves those boys more than we do. I don't have to understand the situation if I do understand the God who loves and works all things for His good.

Julee

March Birthdays

2009-04-28T14:27:00.000-07:00

Since April has almost disappeared I guess I should post the March Birthday Pics. This year I was thankful to be here to celebrate these special days with Anna, Kayla, Michael and Josiah. The last two years I ave been out of town with Jonathan in hospitals for the March birthdays. March is a big month as each birthday person chooses a favorite breakfast and dinner PLUS has a movie night with treats and camping out in living room. Mike came home from work one night near Anna's birthday and told her, Miriam and Meseret to get in the car. They were blown away surprised when he pulled up to the movie theater to watch the Jonas Brother's Concert in 3D!! It was the high point of their entire lives to this point!

Miss Anna turned 9 on March 8th. Nine years ago this day we first felt the call to adopt....the same day Anna was born in China far far away.

Kayla (my right hand mommy2 and all around helper) turned 24 on March 12th

Man-child and lone bio boy at home Michael turned 18 March 19th

Happy Josiah who turned 8 on March 29th

Julee

How far behind is too far behind?

2009-04-28T10:44:00.001-07:00

I am so behind in blogging. My vision of being able to keep current with this web site has died and been buried. Oh well. As a procrastinator with high expectations (a combo that creates a crazy stressed gal) I will deal with this as I do with all things I get behind in. Massive catch up... not done as well as if I had blogged as it was happening..but at least it will be done. The thing about us procrastinators is that we really shine when fire is lite under us. Then we have an excuse if our work isn't excellent cus after all...we had to rush through it.

So, current news first and that will be interspersed with travel stories from recent trip to Ethiopia and other family happenings.

Julee

The World is Lighter

2009-04-28T10:10:00.000-07:00

So, I have been home from Ethiopia over a week and feel completely recovered. Friday we took off to Goldendale for the weekend. It was our last chance to go for awhile as Mike is starting the "outage*" very soon. It was gorgeous up in the mountains. The air was clear and a bit chilly. When the kids cheeks got too cold to stay outside on the zip line or hiking the paths with Daddy..we moved indoors to sit by the wood stove and read books or play games. We feasted on special camping type food and just relaxed mostly. I realized that it was the very nicest time I have ever had there. I think I figured out why that was. The first times we went to visit the cabin in Goldendale was with Jonathan. The first trips were really fun but there was always hanging over our head Jonathan's upcoming BMT (bone marrow transplant). We had to make sure Jonnie had enough blood or platelets to make it through our weekend. We had to be constantly checking his temperature in case he came down with line infection and we had to make an ER run. Mostly the stress I didn't realize at the time, was all about the life or death event of the BMT we were racing toward. Looking back I can see it was a huge weighty fear hovering over all my thoughts. Our trips to Goldendale after Jonathan died were really good for us as a family. But I was still such a train wreak the first months after he died that any and every place was hell to me. This past weekend I found myself relaxed and enjoying Mike and the kids and the beauty I found myself in. I was able to enjoy things in a way not possible when my heavy cloak of great sadness colored all things dark grey. Of course I still have lots of moments of giving into my grief. I most recently have been having the worst nightmares about Jonathan that wake me in agony and terror. Those bad dreams carry over to the whole day sometimes. BUT, in general, I can see how I am getting better. Wow. Realizing what a good time I had at Goldendale was SOOO encouraging. There is light at the end of this grief tunnel?!! Of course I "knew" it from past loss, but knowing it and "owning" it is different. The world just got a bit lighter.

Julee

**the "outage" is the every other year planned shut down of the nuclear power reactor where Mike works. It means lots of mandatory overtime hours and more $ too.
Enjoy the photos posted below from our weekend in Goldendale

back from Ethiopia

2009-04-20T16:05:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh....JET LAG. I got home a few days ago but everything is still a blur to me. I feel like I was kidnapped by aliens or at least run over by a mule train or something. I have so much to share when my head stops hurting and the world is not tilting at such a crazy angle. Tigist and I had such adventures in Ethiopia! Gezehegn and Assefa are ever so wonderful little boys. God showed His graciousness and His beautiful face around every corner. I am glad to be home...just waiting impatiently to be somewhat functional again. Will write more soon!!

check back here tomorrow....

Julee
dizzy yes, but happy to be with my U.S. kiddos and one and only Mike

So behind but still here...

2009-03-25T05:51:00.000-07:00

...it has been busy but so fun around here. Last Saturday Mike and I had our big birthday bash at West Side Center. Many family and friends came to help us celebrate our 50th birthday. We need to do the whole family potluck thing more often. We don't need a birthday excuse. It is just so nice to be able to gather together and catch up. The cool thing about West Side Center is the gym. The kids could play there all day long as the adult visit their hearts out. Our grown son Jake and his wife Holly and kids Silas and Lauren came up from southern Oregon. They were able to stay and are going home today. Our eldest son Cody came from Seattle and also leaves today. I am never happier than when my chicks are under our roof again. Cody has been making gourmet feasts for us. It is enough to make us "foodies" to be able to experience his cooking! Mmmm. He also loves to teach so he imparts some culinary skills to the rest of us when he comes to visit.

I love watching my big boys Jake, Cody and Michael together. I love that they love each other so much and they are best friends. It helps me know that the family dynamics will go on strong after Mike and I are gone.

Of course my heart soars to have the grandbabies here. (I also got to see Dalaina and granddaughter Skylar on Saturday) I could go on and on about how adorable, smart and well behaved they all are...but I will save you from my gushing. Suffice it to say that spending these past few days with the grandkids felt like a bonus reward for the past 30 plus years of being a mommy.

On the adoption front PLEASE pray for our Ethiopian boy's next court dates on April 3rd and April 7th. It looks like there is a chance baby Assefa's case will be able to be split from Gezehegn's so the baby can come home sooner. The case for Gezehegn is still fouled up. Our agency AAI has an extra attorney working on it and we know they are all doing everything they can to make it happen. We get so disheartened and fearful our little guy will never come home?!? But I know from Merrily (our agency director) they AAI keeps working for the kids until the child comes home no matter how long that take. In all the many years they have been working in Ethiopia there has only been a few cases where the adoption didn't happen. That usually was a situation where birth family came and took their child back.

This adoption was way harder than my wildest imaginings. It is a good thing we didn't know how hard it would be this time or we would not have done it! I also know that once the boys are home (and I HAVE TO believe they will eventually be home!) that we will look back at how hard it was and we will know it was all TOTALLY worth it!

Here is Silas and his daddy Jake very stylish looking

Here is Holly with Lauren and Maggie

May this find you all basking in your Father's great love and may today bring you the peace and joy that only comes from Him
Julee

This is really hard...

2009-03-13T04:00:00.000-07:00

.....this waiting for children to come home. We learned yesterday that the courts refused to hear Assefa's case early and we need to wait till April court dates. I have hit a all time low for me in adoption. At this point I am so discouraged I actually question if I would want to adopt again? (this is a first for me) I KNOW I have made it harder on myself by visiting the babies twice. I KNEW it would make it harder to wait for them after spending so much time with them. Mike and I just felt that even though it makes our wait more painful, the benefits outweighed our pain.

I KNOW I can trust God in this situation. I just feel weak, discouraged and broken hearted. It is a good place to be to come to God but it sure hurts now.

New photos of baby Assefa show him realy healthy and big! He is growing up without a family. He is HIV+ and needs to be home with medical care here! Gezehegn doesn't look as healthy as Assefa. Poor Gezehegn looks neglected and hungry. There are no words to say how sad it is for him to be there and He needs to be home!

I have kept the reciepts from all the "retail therapy" I have done the last nine months since starting this adoption. Today I am going to return all the baby boy clothes for they will all be too small for Assefa by the time he comes home. "If" he passes court April 3rd, travel won't be till mid May. He will be almost 11 months old then. I am done with retail therapy and won;t buy another thing until they pass court and we have an embassey date.

I have some more upbeat news to share and will be sending some Happy Birthday posts out as soon as I find my camera cord to upload photos.

thanks for listening
Julee

Bad Court News, Good God News

2009-03-05T09:15:00.000-08:00

Sadly neither Assefa nor Gezehegn passed court again today. The issue is the still needed letter from Region 14. Gezehegn originally came from Kebebe Tseheye orphanage. There are others with kids from there delayed also. AAI is asking that our baby Assefa can be approved so he can come home sooner. The court has not wanted to split up unrelated kid's cases anymore but we are praying they allow Assefa through court. There is no end in sight for Gezehegn, I have no idea how long this could drag out for him. It is very sad.

For parents waiting for their children to come home... it is never soon enough is it? At least we know that "usually" it (adoption) all works out in the end.

For fellow adoptive parents who keep track of such things, here is our adoption time line:
~Jonathan died. I thought I should die too. 4/3/08
~Mike shared he believed we would be sending paperwork off to Ethiopia in next few months for a little girl, I didn't ever want another child except Jonathan 4/4/08
~I felt God say time was right; we decided to start new adoption(almost 9 mos ago)6/9/08
~unofficial referral for HIV+ little girl, waiting for HIV+ baby boy
~learned about a certain teen tiny baby boy 8/4/08
~Dossier to Ethiopia 8/20/08
~referral for Assefa then 1 mos and Edelawit 4 yrs 9/4/08
~On visit to Addis to visit Assefa and Edelawit we met and fell in love with Down Syndrome toddler Gezehegn at Gladney Children's Home 10/5/08
~lost referral for Edelawit. Devastated. 10/6/08
~found out Gladney would transfer Gezehegn to AAI's care. 10/7/08
~referral for Gezehegn 3 yrs 10/8/08
~1st court date 1/21/09
~2nd court date 3/5/09
~3rd court date 4/3/09 for Assefa, 4/7/09 for Gezehegn

Last year this week Jonathan was undergoing chemo and radiation to prepare for bone marrow transplant. April 3rd (Assefa's next court date) is the day Jonathan died last year. It is unbelievable how much lives can change is a year. Gezehegn is Down Syndrome as Jonathan was and they are the same age and were born a day apart from each other 3 1/2 years ago...one in U.S. and one in Ethiopia. One was cherished and loved from his first day of life until his last. One has waited a long time for a mommy and daddy to cherish and love him. I can only rest in the fact that their heavenly Father is "especially fond" of both of them. He loves them more than I can imagine. He created them "extra" special after all as both have that magical "extra" chromosome. I can not always under His ways; but I know His heart. He is LOVE.

I know that a year from now both our boys waiting in Ethiopia will be home. And for all of you reading who are waiting adoptive parents; I would venture to say a year from now your precious children will be home too. The "wait" is always painful and the end reward is always worth it. A few times in the past few weeks I have asked myself "why oh why do we put ourselves through this agony?!?"(adopting). I only have to look at the faces of my children looking back at me everyday. Beautiful, happy, healthy kids not born to us...but our beloved children in every way. Priceless. Worth every agonizing day of waiting for them. Worth every sacrifice made to bring them home and raise them. Worth surviving the difficult teens. Even worth walking through the valley of the shadow of death with them.

So Gezehegn and Assefa; we will never give up waiting for you. We want you home now, we'd still want you home years from now. We prefer sooner. We KNOW and TRUST in a Father who works good in all things. Even LOOOOONG waits.

Julee
Thinking a little retail therapy is in order. Maybe even a deliciously extravagant baby outfit to replace some of those Assefa has grown out of.

Pray For Kayla and Court

2009-03-01T23:08:00.000-08:00

Kayla left at 5:00 PM for her trip to Ethiopia to spend time at the orphanages with our baby boys. I was so on edge all day thinking she was leaving; that she was going to be holding our little ones in just a few days. She made it as far as Seattle. Her United flight from Seattle to D.C was canceled. No other seats or flights that United would book her on. There was no way she was going to make her Ethiopian Air connection in D.C. So she is flying right back home tonight. I leave here in a minute to pick her up at midnight. We will have to rebook tickets for later this week or next when there is Ethiopian Air flight available. She actually felt really sick today so maybe it is for the best. I was worried she was going to wind up with strep in Ethiopia or something.

Our second court date for the boys is Thursday March 5th. We will know in four days if they are coming home soon.... or if we will have another delay. I have been sick to my stomach this week with cold icy fear in my stomach about court. I imagine some small issue with paperwork or missing signature or something so minor to us but important to the powers that be in Ethiopia. Something that would keep the boys from clearing court and keep them longer in the orphanage and away from the love of a family. I know I am sinning in my worry. I am struggling with that. Please pray that they pass court on Thursday. And pray too for Mike and I to not to give into the sin of worry and fear. I know God doesn't want that for us. Pray for Kayla and new travel plans too. Thank you so much and thank you to those who post a comment. It means a lot!

Julee

Sick Kids

2009-03-01T05:38:00.000-08:00

We're busy here at home with various illnesses. It started out a couple weeks ago with a child here or there getting a flu thing....headache, aches all over, cough and slight temp. Some kids got better fast and were done, others got better and then got sicker a few days later. Our friend Mr. Strep has again visited our home. Five kids are on antibiotics. In the past after a few tested positive the whole family was put on antibiotics. Our new pediatrician doesn’t want to do this. We'll see if he (and I) regret this decision. I was willing to try treating Mr. Strep without us all doing the meds. I think everyone was just more conservative in the past when Jonathan was still here. We had to keep the whole family as healthy as possible in order to protect him from any virus. The sickest now are Josiah and Tamar Myhao. Tamar's strep actually manifested as scarlet fever. Praise the Lord for antibiotics. Both seem a bit better after 48 hours on meds. It has been a week of little sleep with 5 of the little kids running temps and miserable. Mike took over a few hours yesterday morning while I slept. Because of illness we had to reschedule Maggie's appointments in Spokane on Friday with her neurosurgeon and CAT scan for her VP shunt check. At least we got another appointment day within a few weeks. I am really concerned that all the kids are not healthy enough to go to Seattle on Tuesday morning. Our plan it to take the seven youngest kids with us for Maggie and Solomon's clinic appointments at Children's Hospital on Tuesday and Wednesday. It takes months and months to get rescheduled and Maggie REALLY needs to see her people. Please pray that she and the others are healthy enough to travel. Maggie's been on antibiotics for 10 days now but she and Solomon still have a cough. I hate to take sick kids into Children's Hospital and expose other kids. We have a hotel room for Mike to stay with kids while I do the appointments if it turns out we can still go. I just pray that it works out for at least Maggie to see her doctors. We desperately need help addressing her feeding issues and to look at her med levels. Maggie has three appointments and Solomon has four.

*****Just added to post: I posted this early this morning before Maggie was up. She since got up with 102 temp and her cough is much worse. I imagine it will be an ER visit today and chest xray. Guess my prayers for what to do about Seattle were answered even before anyone read the above post. There is NO way that we can taken the kids for their appointments now.
*****updated at 4:00 PM. Maggie does have pneumonia but we are home from ER with super duper stronger antibiotics. Another week ahead hunkered down at home recovering.

last Birthday catchup

2009-02-25T06:09:00.000-08:00

Lindsay lives with her husband Sean in Denver. Coloado is a beautiful place but seems sooooo far away. I am just step mom to Lindsay but have loved her since Mike and I married 18 years ago. Mike and I miss her a lot. There will be some new brothers again very soon I hope. What a good reason to visit! Happy 30 something Lindsay!

Lost Lambs , Happy Birthdays and Catchup part 4

2009-02-24T23:29:00.000-08:00

This birthday sucked. Sorry if you think that a bad word, but I can think of no other better fitting. How ever can it be true?! I am STILL than same person who stared out from the mirror at myself in high school. oh well. At least I am doing something with my life that I LOVE and that I think matters. How much would it suck to be 50 stinking years old and to have been wasting that time on stupid stuff?!? I feel the days counting down already and don't want to waste a one on anything without eternal significance. I kinda wish I could LOOK younger while I was doing all this stuff for God's glory, but that is just my vain insecurity.

My February 11th birthday was pretty low key. Mike turns the big 5-0 on April 4th. We are having a big combined birthday party March 21st at West Side Center to celebrate our "fiftyness". You are all welcome. Lunch starts at noon. It's a potluck so you have to bring food.
Julee

Lost Lambs, Happy Birthdays and Catchup part 3

2009-02-24T22:02:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Tamar Myhao!

Mike traveled two years ago to Vietnam to adopt Tamar Myhao. We had seen her photo a year earlier and fell in love with her sweet face. When she finally came home it was during the time that Jonathan was being diagnosed and I was away from home a lot in hospitals with him. Poor little Tamar didn't know for a long time who her mommy was. She sure does now! There is nothing like the love showered on a parent from their Down Syndrome child. Tamar is a tiny little drama queen who is always living out the movie in her head where she is the star. She has never met a stranger and she gives hugs for free. She expresses herself very eloquently though she says only a few words others can understand. She is more fun to be around than anyone I know. Tamar turned 7 years old January 30th. She attends a Life Skills (special ed) kindergarten and gets on the bus every school day with joy and kisses for the bus drivers.

This is Tamar and her new baby girl. Yes, this is bitty baby twin to Miriam's baby Jen. Tamar has named her baby girl but the name is from her own special language and we can't understand it. Tamar also got a play little kitchen for her birthday. She was and is still now weeks later thrilled with her gifts. Her baby goes everywhere with her and she loves to style baby's hair.

Lost Lambs, Happy Birthdays & Catchup:part 2

2009-02-24T15:03:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Miriam!

Miriam turned 9 years old on January 14th. She was adopted from China when she was almost 4 years old. She was the world's easiest adoption and adjustment to a family. Miriam is a very smart girl who has a servant's heart. She is also quite the girly girl. She loves all things feminine. She asked for a baby boy doll for her birthday as all she has are baby girls....This is her brand new baby boy "Jen" doll. He is named for our family's most adored Asian man, the character on the T.V. show "Lost" named Jen. We are all about waiting for our real life human baby boys around here so it seemed natural for Miriam to become mommy to her own baby boy. (I buy doll clothes on Walmart infant clearance racks, the preemie size fits American Girl Bitty Babys perfectly)

Yes; Miriam is growing out her bangs.

I took a cue from another adoptive mom to many for a new birthday tradition. I wish I could figure out how to add a link to my blog post...then I would add Erin H.'s blog link to this post. Her family celebrates a child's special day by letting them choose birthday breakfast cereal, dinner menu, soda pop choice etc...whatever the birthday child desires. It was fun to start this tradition with Miriam but I had to take her to the store with me to chose cold cereal....our kids don't even know what is a good kind. We don't just don't usually buy it so we chose from the picture on cereal box and got Cocoa Pebbles. Miriam wanted fried rice for dinner and so that's what we made a HUGE batch of.

One thing about being a public school kid now....Miriam got to bring treats to her class for her birthday. She chose to take "hamburgers". They are made with vanilla wafers for the bun, peperment patties for burger, and colored frosting for ketchup and lettuce. You can add food color to coconut to make a more realistic lettuce, and cut fruit leather to look like slice of cheese , etc.....I didn't feel like working that hard.

Lost Lambs, Happy Birthdays and Big Catchup #1

2009-02-24T09:59:00.000-08:00

So remember how in 2009 I was going to acknowledge all our family's birthdays? Well, better late than never. Here it is already about March and I haven't done a single birthday post. I am behind six birthdays and just in time for one that happens today.

January 5th was our granddaughter Maryn's 11th birthday. Maryn's mom our daughter Tasha turned 28 years old the next day January 6th. We have not seen Tasha since she was 15. We have never met Maryn. For her own reasons Tasha has chosen to divorce herself from our family. I think about her and Maryn everyday and am proud of all the good things I hear about them from others who are a part of their lives. One day about ten years ago when I thought I would surely die from worry and grief over "losing" Tasha, the Lord gave me a vision. I "saw" Tasha as a beautiful grown woman and she smiled at me and we fell into each other's arms with love and forgiveness. This vision was so real I could feel her embrace and smell her hair. This vision was of our reunion in heaven. I am sad to think I will never see her in this life but comforted by the hope to see her in heaven. What else can any parent do in this situation? Pray. Pray a lot and without ceasing. If need be pray for 50 years for my child even without hope of ever an "answer" to that prayer in my lifetime. Pray because I know how much God loves Tasha and Maryn. Pray because that is what God tells us to do and how He chooses to work. Happy Birthday Tasha, I love you and am grateful for the gift you are. Happy Birthday Maryn, I am your granny and I love you too. Someday I hope we can make up for lost time. You'd love meeting all your uncles and aunts!

Haimanot joined our family in fall of 2006. She was adopted from Ethiopia in 2004 and with her first adoptive family a few years before coming to us. Haimanot turned 18 on January 19th! She has waited a long time to be old enough to manage her own life and make her own rules. She was with our family less than two years before going to Job Core. I wish we'd had more time with her here at home. She has distanced herself from us since moving to Job Core last May. We think she will be back home someday. Stuff happens to young people and they find they still need a "nest", we will always be a ready landing place. We keep praying for Haimanot's health, safety and happiness. She is really a lovely young women with a lot of good qualities. May all your dreams come true Haime! We do love you Honey. Here is a pic of Haime and I from last year when she was still in the nest with mama bird me.

pray for Abby

2009-02-18T04:27:00.001-08:00

Despite many good intentions of keeping the blog more up to date I let the days slide through my fingers without posting. Though I may not "talk" (blog) much I certainly do read a lot of other more prolific blog writers. I am an avid blog follower...I have my favorites; those blogs I read even if I can't afford the time. I read tons of blogs, many of them adoption related. The most fun are the travel stories of families meeting and bringing home their new children. What ever did we all do in the adoption world before Internet and blogging?! I also painfully follow some blogs of other's dealing with the loss of children or whose children are seriously ill.

One family whose story I live and breath is the Rigg's family blogs. This is a God loving, God fearing , God following, family with seven awesome kids three of whom happen to be adopted from Guatemala and Ethiopia. Their precious little girl Abby is right in the heat of a battle for her life fighting off the monster of leukemia. I have never figured how how to post links on my blog posts....but am going to try it to share the Rigg's blogs site. Mom Michelle and Daddy Brett both skillfully write to enable us to share in their family's journey and Abby's daily ife in the cancer trenches right now. Even if you don't choose to visit their blog and read about their wonderful family and Abby's battle; please remember to pray for Abby right now. She is in a very challenging and precarious part of her fight for life now. I think I can understand a little about what her mom and and dad are going through and her whole family. How many things are harder than watching your child suffer so brutely? I can think of nothing.

I added a button to my blog on upper right hand side ....it says "Praying for Abby". If you click on it you will link to the Rigg's family blog and be able to read more about them and see darling Abby!

Dear AWESOME Father and Lord of all creation....we Know you love Abby more than anyone else. We know that you know all the days of he life even before they came to be. YOU Lord are Who placed her in the Rigg's family and You are Who is and will be glorified in Abby's life. We ask You Lord to enable this most recent hairy and scary course of chemo-poison to be effective against the leukemia trying to take her life. We pray for healing for Abby and that You supernaturally lesson the side effects from the chemo. Guide the doctors as they work, check, and adjust meds to keep her pain level under control. Lord we thank you for her mom and dad and their willingness share this battle with all of us. We thank You for the light they shine for You in this hard time. We thank You that through them we can learn more of Your love and grace. Continue God to strengthen them and keep them close to Your heart. We beseech You Father to heal Abby and hold up their whole family through this time.
Amen

A Year Ago

2009-02-03T08:59:00.000-08:00

A year ago Jonathan and I were living at Ronald McDonald House next door to Children's Hospital in Seattle. We were there doing all the appointments and medical test and procedures in preparation for the bone marrow transplant. Because Jonathan had to avoid people and viruses we were in isolation at Ronald McDonald House. That meant we spent many, many lovely hours alone in our room. Jonathan loved watching certain cartoons and his favorite was Wonder Pets. Here he is entranced and absorbed in watching a rescue mission by the super cute heroes..a Guinea pig, duckling, and turtle.

Wonder Pets over!...oh no...

No more cartoons...

Sign language....

Happily showing off his tonsils.

Wonder Pets forgotten and ready for more fun with Mommy.

I share Jonathan's funny faces from last year because I think his was the most wonderful of faces. He is gone now and it is sad that no one sees his face anymore. So..bear with me when I post photos, mention Jonathan, or fall at times into fits of grief. It is a tiny little way to keep him around.

Julee
getting ready to clean out the closet full of Jonathan's belongings. Thank goodness for Rubbermaid bins...you can put the lid on and stow it away to deal with another day.

time for change

2009-01-31T08:06:00.000-08:00

Okay. I feel done with being glum. When depressed I am quiet and being quiet makes me more depressed...stupid. I am done with being quiet. The sun peeked through a couple days this week and it was awesome. Didn't warm up all that much but still an improvement. There is just something about the sun shinning on your head that makes your step lighter and the world a better place.

It is hard that the boys didn't pass court last week. We were disappointed but not terribly surprised. Many court cases are not passing the first time nowadays. The Ethiopian adoption court is getting much pickier about a lot of stuff including the paperwork for court. This is good in the long run. Everyone wants a finely tuned and precise system for adoption in Ethiopia. It is the best for the children and the families. Now that all these wrinkles and new document requirements are being ironed out the time to get through court is taking longer and cases backing up. That is why when a case doesn't pass first time, it takes weeks to get rescheduled. For our agency it is about six weeks out, other agencies may be more or less according to their case load. This delay for us means the boys are at least another three months delayed in coming home. In our case it sounds like it was a minor paperwork issue and missing signature on one document. We we were told it shouldn't be an issue to resolve quickly. We just have to wait for next available court date March 5th. Some families I know have had four court dates. We are counting on passing next time!

There is lots of projects around here to work on to keep busy. The most fun "work" is doing things to get ready for two more little ones. I am also turning over a new blogging leaf....I am bound and determined to post more often and get more writing done. One goal I had this year was to send out a birthday post for every child this year. In my "quietness" on the blog I have already missed five birthdays this month! Oh my. So rather than give up already in January I am just going to catch up and keep up with my blogging goal. Be prepared for a string of birthday posts

Julee
getting ready to go out on date with my sweetie Mike, dinner AND a movie!

bad news

2009-01-21T08:50:00.000-08:00

Neither Assefa nor Gezehegn's case passed court today. Their cases were rescheduled for March 5th. So sad. More later

Please Pray

2009-01-20T09:01:00.000-08:00

My friend Lisa is in Ethiopia bringing home her daughter Eden. She is waiting for Eden's visa to be able to come home...please pray it comes tomorrow so they can be home soon. Lisa and her family live in our community. Her daughter Eden is best friend's with Edelawit. Edelawit is the little girl whose referral we lost due to paperwork issues in October.

I found out our waiting toddler Gezehegn is ill. Gezehegn is three years old but looks much younger because he is Down Syndrome. I am guessing he is about 18 lbs. He crawls but isn't walking yet. If we pass court tomorrow then Gezehegn will be Judah Gezehegn Feser and be coming home in a month or so. Please pray this precious boy doesn't become dehydrated and is able to keep his temperature down. My heart is breaking to know he is ill and I can't be there to take care of him. I am so thankful my friend Lisa (an RN)is there to try to keep an eye on him for me.

Thank you!

Julee

Still Among The Living

2009-01-19T16:28:00.000-08:00

*Okay, I am taking the step to write a blog entry after several weeks of silence.* Sorry guys. I am embarrassed to admit that I have been in a "funk" which is nicer sounding than "I have been depressed". I have sympathy for others when they are depressed. When I am depressed I have no patience for myself and feel like a total mental case failure. So, there is my confession. I think there may be a tiny glimmer of light at the end of this tunnel and I am blogging about it to take a step in the right direction. I do know from reading all the books on grief I can get my hands on, that the 7-10 months mark after a death is a very hard time for people. Not sure why that is? It just seems like most of us dealing with a loved one's death really "crash" around that time. Mike and I still miss Jonathan constantly. For me I am a bit surprised my grief is still so raw now nine months after he died. The holidays were a trial getting through remembering Jonnie here with us last year. My whole life then revolved around him and fighting his illness. The bone marrow transplant was an ever looming target ...an event that could heal him or kill him. In my depression I feel like I lost myself when Jonathan died and I can't find "me" anymore or ever again. Then I feel so stupid and self centered thinking that. I know logically that there is no "me" to be found, just "Jesus" to be found. He is the only thing that gets me through and keeps me trying to get better, be better....for the kids and Mike. I do know that I never felt better than the two weeks I spent last month in Ethiopia. Loving on our baby boys and all the other children in the orphanages was as fulfilling as anything I have ever done. It was as close to "finding myself" as is possible. Of course I am sure that having to leave our boys there was pouring gasoline on the whole grief work. When I bawl out my longing for Jonathan there is a whole lot of tears thrown in for missing Gezehegn and Assefa.

**I wrote the above part of this post over a week ago. I have been floundering in my grief and Mike has been a rock for me. The first of the year with Mike's support I made some changes that I am hoping will help my depression. First off both Mike and I have made major changes in our diet. We want to be as healthy as possible and it'd be nice to lose a little weight too. I am doing a modified Daniel Fast which is pretty much a vegan diet heavy on veggies and fruit. The hardest part was giving up my beloved Diet Coke and coffee. I am determined to get outside and walk everyday no matter how freezing cold it is. I know exercise outdoors is a real key to my sanity and mental health. I finally bought the book recommended too me many times in the last two years...Beth Moore's "Get Out Of That Pit". It is JUST what I need! Last week I felt that I needed a "real" fasting and prayer time for the week before our Ethiopian court date. It has been a "good" time for me. Good for me because what I really need is to get back to my meaningful dates and quiet time with my Lord. It is just too easy in depression it is to fall out of good habits like prayer and quiet times. I needed and still need a hard kick in the pants to get jump started in a positive direction. Radically changing my diet and ridding my body of all chemicals, gluten and sugars has been one helpful "kick in the pants". Serious prayer and fasting has been another powerful jump start. It has forced me to bathe myself in His Word and allow it too soothe my wounds. I ache constantly for Jonathan, my bones hurt and my eyes are always teary with longing for a little boy I won't hold again till Heaven. My heart still races in a panic to remember all the pain Jonathan went through. God's ever loving presence and the balm of His precious Word doesn't automatically remove my aches and pains and grief. The truth of God's LOVE and GRACE in His words to me do help me remember MORE than the pain of Jonathan's death. They remind me that His mercies are new every morning. They remind me that "Yes", this crippling grief will get better and God won't leave me here in this pit of despair.

I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord. --Psalm 40:1-3

Powerful words that I believe in and am choosing to count on as my own words of deliverance from a loving Father.

Thanks for visiting me in my walk in the "shadows" and the journey finding my way back out to the light.

Julee

More catching up and Maggie's new wheels!.

2009-01-16T11:09:00.000-08:00

We have had a few changes the past month. Mike got a new-old job. He started this past week a "new" job with Energy Northwest(nuclear power plant). It is an "old" job as he worked for them before for many years. When Jonathan was gearing up for bone marrow transplant Mike accepted a job with Washington Group working on the Vit Plant (building a waste treatment facility). God answered many prayers for our family when Mike got the WA Group job. That job allowed Mike much more time with the kids when I was far away in Seattle with Jonathan. His brand new fellow employees at the Vit plant also donated enough personal vacation days to Mike that he was able to work part time and still get a full time paycheck for three months! That company was AWESOME to our family and we will always be grateful for his time there. I kinda knew my guy wouldn't be happy forever doing that kind of work though. He missed the challenges at Energy Northwest. We are happy Mike is back there and not at all ruffled that it is a $800 dollar a month pay cut for awhile.....Because of the temporary pay cut we have tightened up the budget. The only hard part was taking Solomon out of West Side Preschool. I really had been thinking Solly may have to stop preschool when the baby boys come home anyway. I knew loading up two babies to take Solomon back and forth to preschool would be a major pain. As far as the budget goes, it's not too bad. I know well how to live "poor". The only thing that really gets me now is not being able to practice "retail therapy". That is what I call shopping for the waiting baby boys. It is so hard to WAIT for them. Preparing and getting everything ready for their homecoming feels like I am doing SOMETHING to help them. Really the best thing I can do is pray more and keep learning to turn my worries for the babies over to the Lord. I want them home SOOO bad, so does Mike. Their court date is Wednesday the 21st...so we will know more in a few days about just when they might be home. My friend Sage whose daughter's court date was last week passed! Yahoo! Please pray Assefa and Gezehegn both pass court on Wednesday. As far as the "retail therapy" I am surviving. I know that God has never failed to meet our needs. That is miraculous! First off He always provides the money we need for the adoptions AND provides for all the children's practical needs. Right now I am saving for a good quality double stroller, and two more car seats. Gezehegn has enough clothes as he is about the same size Jonathan was. I am happy to be able to use Jonathan's cute clothes for Gezehegn. If it turns out that it makes us too sad to see Jonnie's stuff on another child, I will just get Gezehegn different clothes then. I really think we'll be okay with it. Assefa is size 6-9 mos now and I have VERY little for him. I am waiting till I know for sure when he will be home to buy anything for him. So...if anyone has hand-me-down boy's clothes size 6-12 months you know who to call.....we never turn down hand-me-downs!

Biggest Praise: Speaking of God always providing for our family's needs.....Thank you Lord for Maggie's new wheelchair!!! You may remember me whining and lamenting Maggie so BADLY needing new wheelchair. Well, two years and one month after we started the process for a new wheelchair....it was finally delivered! The wheelchair guy came and spent an hour or so adjusting it all to fit her. I cried to see her sitting in something that supports her body correctly and looks comfortable. The price tag was just under $7000. Praise You God also for medical insurance! You might also notice her braids....I did them myself! Usually the braiding is done by an older Ethio teen. My fingers don't work as well as theirs do with all that. I heard from another mom (Sage) about "yarn" extensions. I checked it out on You Tube and watched a few videos explaining how to uses yarn for hair extensions. It was easy! I used on Maggie some yarn we had laying around the house. It was black yarn with little flecks of colors throughout. She has had the yarn extensions in three weeks now and they still look perfect.

Here is Maggie in her new wheels....

Here is Daddy showing Maggie her new yarn hairdo in bathroom mirror. Maggie's hair doesn't grow on the back of head and never has. Her head is always against the ground, headrest, etc...so she is rather bald in back. Having pretty hair to style on front of head means a lot!

Julee

silly me....

2009-01-13T16:26:00.000-08:00

Oooops, Sage's daughter's court date is not tomorrow....but Friday the 16th. I was thinking Wednesday...Ahhh. Now you have THREE days to pray for it.

resurfacing

2009-01-13T13:48:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the disappearing act. I have been in a funk. I keep trying to write an eloquent post but creativity is escaping me...so here is a update from the last month. I got home from Ethiopia Dec 19th safe and sound (minus my luggage though, it made it home a week ago) I came home from Africa just in time to miss the worst travel weather ever as the northwest was hit with TONS of snow and freezing temperatures. Roza and Mulu came home from Job Core for Christmas which was awesome. They had to grab a Greyhound in small windows of time when the mountain passes were open. Their orthodontist made a special trip to his office to adjust their braces and they made it back through the passes to get back to school on time after Christmas.

Our Christmas was quiet....just the way we like it! We ate a homemade Chinese food feast, our holiday favorite. The roads were so bad we couldn't go to church or do the extended family visits, but that was okay. I did miss seeing adult kids and grand kids but plan for visits with them soon. I think the weather is only this bad every ten years or so. We decided to enjoy the forced solitude. Thanks to Wishing Star and Jefferson School we had some wonderful gifts to open. All the kids had a new outfit and shoes and a toy to play with. Our generous Wishing Star sponsors Mary Anne and Jim moved mountains to get our gifts to us by Christmas. They even enlisted a Fed Ex Santa! Five of our children attend Jefferson Elementary School. Different people "adopted" different kids in our family from the "Angel" tree at school and while I was still in Ethiopia many gifts were delivered. Our children were overjoyed with all their gifts and the outfits and shoes were a HUGE God-send. Thank you everyone!

We don't buy much at all (or anything some years!) for Christmas presents. We try to make each child's birthday special, but at Christmas and Hanukkah time just don't have enough money for many gifts. We do have some fun traditions though. At Christmas time we like to go out to eat. The only other time we EVER do this is when we do a readoption for child in U.S. court system and go out to celebrate. We always go to Ole Country Buffet. The kids may eat anything they want. I had to stay home with Maggie this year but the rest of the family had a blast. Do you think going out to eat only once a year is often enough to teach children how to behave in a restaurant? I am hoping it is!

We also plan for "family gift" to go to out to see a movie on the BIG SCREEN! Mike took the teen kids to Benjamin Button and I later took "littles" to Tale of Desperoux. Both movies were wonderful. But I am NEVER taking Maggie to a movie again. Every time we have ever tried she just comes undone as soon as the lights go out. Maybe it is just too much stimulation? Who knows. It just isn't worth it to put her through it. Poor girls cries bitterly whenever she is left behind. She knows when she is missing out on something. But some things are just too very hard for her. She had to stay home from Ole Country Buffet because we couldn't get wheelchair through snow.

This year Mike planned a new fun thing for a "gift" for kids. He took them to the Dollar store and let them chose five things! (next time I am think $3 would be enough) They all agreed it was the "most funnest, beery best fun thing in the wooorld"

Snow and ice are all gone and kids are back in school. I need to start walking again everyday and dragging myself out of bed in time for a date with the Lord before family rises...Hopefully the "funk" I'm in will lighten up. I seem to be living in the past too much. My heart and head is on last year this time with Jonathan still here and all the stuff he lived through. I pray our new baby boy's pass court the first time...Jan 21st and will be home soon! That would help the greatest sort of "funk" to lift!

Don't forget...God is always good, even when life doesn't feel good.

Bye for now....More to come (promise!)
Julee
P.S. Please pray for Sage and Steve's court date for their waiting 4 yr old daughter in Ethiopia which is happening tomorrow! Pray tonight as when we are going to bed..the judges and court folk are getting up in Ethiopia. Sage is my new goodest friend who I got to meet and bond with on my trip to Ethiopia recently.

P.S.S. If Sage's daughter passes court this week, and our boys pass court next week....well then...Sage and I could maybe travel together again. THAT would be cool.

P.S.S.S. Jody...you lovely young wife and mommy who is my darling daughter-in-law Holly's friend....you are a blessing! Can't wait to meet you someday.

My Ideal Vacation Day

2008-12-14T09:25:00.000-08:00

1) Slept six straight hours before waking up to the loud speakers of daily chanting from the mosque a few blocks away.
2) Made coffee and peanut butter and crackers, then had breakfast with God for company.
3) Internet at guest house hooked up first try! Then checked email. You guys can write me…I love it. May not return emails (maybe?) till home.
4) Did a backpacking bath in bathroom sink (wiped down dirty parts) and wet down hair to get the dust out. Refreshed!. Dug through clothes to find the least dirty to wear for today.
5) on walk to AHOPE passed out bread and crackers to beggar mommies and their children. ***Yes, It is SOOO much better to give than receive. To be here surrounded by need and feel so powerless is hard for me. Making a child smile with food because they are hungry makes ME so happy and helps ME feel better. Pray
6) At AHOPE in time to greet Assefa waking up. So sweet. Hugged a bunch of kids and passed out dabo kolo (tiny fried bread pieces) Pray
7) Get picked up by Mesfin (Muffin) who is Selamne’s brother driving for Ketema. Go to Kidane Mehret (orphanage called KM) to visit a ton of kids. Visit children I already know and love and meet a ton more kids home from school. Hold babies, toddlers and big kids. Talk to teens begging me to find them a family. Sit in the sun for an hour holding a little boy I fell in love with the other day. His name is Fitsum and he is four years old. He was born with a major spinal deformity and some skull deformity. He is smart and sweet and will not live more than a few more years without surgery in U.S. Said “Choa” to all the kids promising to be back before I leave for America. Pray
8) Went to supermarket to buy food stuffs to take home (berebere, green coffee beans, Shiro etc….) Found Diet Coke at this new supermarket! Oh happy day! Thank you Lord.
9) Rest and drink two cold Diet Cokes at my guest house. Ahhhh. Bread and cheese for lunch.
10) Visit Layla, hold babies, and walk around Layla carrying my baby Gezehegn. Check on some big Layla kids for their new parents in U.S. Gezehegn and I watch kids playing soccer till he falls asleep. Hold more babies, babies, and babies. Pray
11) Visit little AHOPE and Assefa again. Play with kids, hold babies, play with kids, hold babies…Say good night to 28 of the world’s sweetest kids. Pray
12) walk back to guest house again visiting with my new friends on way (beggars) feel safe as I have anywhere in the world at night on streets of Addis. Pray
13) Ran three inches of cool warm water in tub and stripped off my clothes covered with every form of bodily fluid, then basked in that water and really washed hair for the first time in a week. Thank you God again…enough water and water pressure! Put on last clean clothes, it felt good.
14) Talked to my darling husband who called me to say good night. I love him. Miss the kids, counting the days till I go home to them, counting the days till I have to leave here. Pray
15) Listen to Third day songs as I go to sleep. End of my perfect vacation day…could only be better if Mike and other kids were here.
Julee
P.S. The comment regarding bodily fluids didn't paint a nice picture of me. I will change it "that my clothes were covered with ALMOST every sort of bodily fluid."

Urine
poop
vomit
spit-up
snot
and several different kinds of pus and drainage

that is enough said about that.

P.S.S. Kidist and her sister wash clothes for guests and getting your clothes cleaned at Addis Kidan guest house is no problem. I just hate to make more work for them than I have too. They are so wonderful here at the guest house. I only wished they lived next door to me always. Nice, nice, nice